Grade The Trade: Melvin's Clearinghouse Edition

Matt Melvin wants to seeya in a Kia!

The Trade: Melvin sends Malcom Floyd and Ahmad Bradshaw to Mr. X in exchange for Reggie Wayne and Ryan Grant.

The Breakdown: Melvin makes his second (!!!) trade of the young season, in your classic "Bad WR-Good RB for Good WR-Bad RB" deal. Every single player in this trade comes with a question mark. For Floyd, it's a groin injury and low reception totals. For Bradshaw, it's injury history and Brandon Jacobs vulturing the goal line carries. For Reggie Wayne, it's the Colts' sagging offense behind Kerry Collins. For Ryan Grant, it's losing his job to James Starks. The best way to look at this deal is to see what it does to each team's lineups.

Melvin - With CJ2K and Ryan Matthews in tow, Melvin could afford to jettison a running back in order to get Braylon Edwards out of his WR3 spot. He now boasts a very solid receiving crew of Maclin, Wayne, and Devery Henderson, who keeps the seat warm until Marques Colston's collarbone is back in one piece. Overall, Melvin didn't subtract too much from his lineup, and made a nice addition. Ryan Grant now likely fills the RB4 spot behind CJ Spiller.

Mr. X - With his entire bench a MASH Unit (seriously, go check his team out. Everybody on the bench is questionable, other than the Saints D and Sam Bradford), X needed a healthy body at RB. He got one, and the fact that Bradshaw is playing the atrocious Eagles run defense this week is a delicious perk. Whether or not you think Ryan won this trade really comes down to whether or not you want to trust Steve Smith (CAR) week in and week out. With a WR3 you have that flexibility. With a WR2, you do not. Listen, I know Cam Newton is making a star out of Smith so far this season, but that well's going to dry up faster than Chaz Bono's discarded ovaries (High five for the tranny joke, bro!!!). I understand the need for Ryan to have done something to address the need at RB. I'm just not certain this was the best move to make for overall roster structure. If I were in his shoes, you bet your sweet bippy I would have been trying to sell high on Smith.

My Grade: Melvin improves his 2011 trade record to 2-0 with another slight victory.

Grade The Trade: Draft Pick Edition!

The details of the Hefty-Melvin draft pick trade have been cemented. Let's take a look and see who got the better of the deal in hindsight.

HEFTY GETS: The #11 pick (Roddy White) and the #59 pick (Brandon Marshall).

MELVIN GETS: The #22 pick (Phillip Rivers) and the #46 pick (Jeremy Maclin).

Roddy White does his best Owen Hart impression for the pre-game introductions.

This is obviously a strange trade to grade because we didn't actually trade those players for each other. But I think we can honestly say the trade was beneficial to both teams. Had I stayed put with my picks, the best available receiver duo I could have taken with my 2nd and 4th picks would have been Vincent Jackson and of course, Jeremy Maclin. It's probably a close enough call with those two duos from a talent perspective that I can just say I "like" my guys better and feel okay about the trade. Maclin's health worries me longterm, I'm not sure how a guy who drops 20 pounds in the offseason can be anywhere near football shape at this point. One added benefit is that picking up an extra first rounder made me much more comfortable with the gamble of taking Vick at #3.

I'll take absolutely any excuse to run this picture on this blog.

From Melvin's perspective, trading out of the first round seems to have worked out for him just fine. He picked up the free-falling Chris Johnson and Phillip Rivers in the second. You could make the argument that those two second round players are better than my haul in the first round (Vick and White), and I can't say you'd definitely be wrong. As I mentioned before, Maclin scares me, but picking up an extra 4th rounder meant that Melvin could grab him as a WR3, which is awfully low risk for a guy who finished 13th in WR scoring last year.

FINAL GRADE: I would definitely make this trade again if I had a re-do, but I think it ended up boosting Melvin's overall roster slightly more. To have Phillip Rivers, Chris Johnson, and 3 WRs by the end of the 4th round is a hell of a luxury. Advantage: MELVIN.

Grade The Trade: 11/9/07

Not-So-Breaking News: Bisbee and Canada have reached terms on a six-player deal. The trade sent Willie Parker and Jon Kitna to the Great White North, in return for Brian Griese, Kevin Jones, and Joey Galloway, who head out to the Wild Wild West.

From Shawn's Perspective:
Can't say I see a downside here. Shawn gets a Top-12 back, who is the workhorse runner on an offense best known for its workhorse runners. Parker will provide serious stability at the running back position, and pairing him with Willis McGahee gives him one of the best backfields in the league.
As for Kitna, he's at very worst a good fantasy backup, which is better than you could say about the QB's that the Cripplers have been trotting out on the field every week so far. Kitna has underperformed despite a plethora of talented receivers, but really, what else is new in Detroit?

From Mike's Perspective:
Mike recieves a three-player-combo-meal, which is to say he attempted to trade star power for depth. The only problem is, I'm not sure that's what he accomplished here.
Griese won't need to hit the field unless disaster strikes Derek Anderson, although given Sunday's injury and subsequent Rextacy, Griese might not be hitting any field but the practice field any time soon.
Kevin Jones has turned himself into a somewhat reliable option after missing the early part of the season. For the purposes of this trade review, I'm willing to overlook his Sunday stat line (4 carries, -4 yards, 1 TD). But all things considered, Mike's three backs are now Marshawn Lynch, Kevin Jones, and Najeh Davenport. That's not exactly the most comfortable situation.
Joey Galloway is the headliner in this deal for Mike, plain and simple. Galloway, who seems like he's been in the league forever at this point, is still playing some of his best ball, getting in a nice groove with Jeff Garcia. Bringing him into the starting lineup, and tossing turds like Jerry Porter and Santana Moss to the waiver wire may be the best thing about this trade for Mikey.

Overall: I'd have to say the edge goes to Shawn. Mike does get a big boost at WR, but he basically gives away a strong backup QB and one of the better runners in the league to do so. I'm not totally sure that's worth it. I hope you prove me wrong, Bisbee, because the Cripplers could be running away with my division title.

Grade The Trade: 10/25/07

BREAKING NEWS: The Hairy Areolas and The Larry Craig Fritzes have announced a three player trade. The Craigger will send Ahman Green (old) and Fred Taylor (weak, old) to Melvin, in exchange for Dwayne Bowe (Kansas City receiver).

From Melvin's Perspective - Ahman Green hasn't had a good game since Week 2. Fred Taylor hasn't had a good game since 2002. It's no secret that I err on the side of youth when it comes to running backs. I'd rather take my chances on a hot rook than dabble with a has-been. When it comes to fantasy running backs, there just aren't that many cougars in the league. It's best to hit up the young flesh and hope for the best. It's fitting that Taylor and Green are 38 and 39 in scoring amongst running backs this year. I believe that's also their age.
Honestly, I understand that with Ronnie Brown going down for the season, you definitely need some help at RB, but at the same time, these guys should not be starting for you. They're most likely your third and fourth option, and while I'm all for stocking your bench with potential talent, you are 1-6 and this trade does not solve any of your most pressing needs.

From Craig's Perspective - Let me take a wild guess. This isn't what you had in mind when you drafted Marvin Harrison, Terrell Owens and Javon Walker in rounds 2, 3, and 4, is it? Instead you're trading away two running backs for a rookie wide receiver who plays for one of the least threatening offenses in football. To his credit, Bowe has developed nicely, he's actually the 12th ranked receiver, and has fared no worse than 40 yards or a touchdown in any game so far. While I'm leery of any Chief, this seems to be their number one wide receiver, and so long as LJ and Gonzo are keeping up with expectations, Bowe should continue to find single coverage in the secondary. While I'm 99.9% sure that he won't be able to keep up his pace and finish in the Top 12 overall, it looks like you've gotten your new WR3 while Javon heals up.

The Winner: Craig, by the slightest of edges.

Grade the Trade: 9/27/07

Mike Walbert and Jon Hefty announce a 5 player trade. Bisbee will receive Marshawn Lynch and Jerry Porter, and will send Jerrious Norwood, Wes Welker, and Matt Schaub to Chicago.
Also, since I'm far too biased to properly write this segment of Grade the Trade, I now turn things over to our dearest and baldest friend, Mr. Jordan K Yingling.

GRADE THE TRADE: Look out people, the 4th trade of the season is on the table and it could be the highest profile trade ever, ever…
That’s right folks, the most valuable fantasy asset this league has seen since the Cardinals defense of ’03 is swapping squads. Matt Schaub could be just the spark needed to turn the Chicago Bear Grylls season around. Let’s hit the stat sheet and see what the Grylls gave up to land this fantasy gem and a few low profile players to boot.

Bisbee Ball Maulers receive:
Jerry Porter, OAK – WR
2007: 3 Gm, 4 Rec, 92 Yds, 59 Y/G, 23 Avg, 1 TD
2006: 4 Gm, 1 Rec, 19 Yds, 5 Y/G, 19 Avg, 1 TD
2005: 16 Gm, 76 Rec, 942 Yds, 31 Y/G, 12 Avg, 5 TD

Marshawn Lynch BUF – RB
2007: 3 Gm, 57 Att, 228 Yds, 76 Y/G, 4.0 Avg, 2 TD

MY TAKE - MAULERS: Marshawn Lynch has shown that he has some solid talent and that he may pan out to be a solid NFL running back. He’s managed to gain a respectable 4.0 yrds per carry and has found paydirt twice already this season. Even more impressive he’s shown this skill against Denver, Pittsburgh, and New England. Unfortunately for him, he plays on the Bills. Buffalo boosts the most unproductive offensive unit in football, producing an average of 8 pts/game thus far. I’m not saying they’re the worst team in football, I’m just saying that they’re not better than any team any of you might think is the worst team in football. More importantly with games against BALT, NYJ, CIN, MIA, and NE upcoming none of these numbers should increase anytime soon.
Jerry Porter? Let’s just say that when I saw a clip of him scoring a touchdown last week I honestly thought I was watching a 2004 Oakland Raiders season recap. I honestly thought Art Shell had barred from the league for life. I know analysts are saying this guy is poised to have a big 2007, but personally I’d rather go skinny dipping with my Grandma than have him, or any other Raider for that matter, on my team.

Chicago Bear Grylls receive:
Jerious Norwood, ATL – RB
2007: 3 Gm, 20 Att, 95 Yds, 32 Y/G, 4.8 Avg, 0 TD
2006: 14 Gm, 99 Att, 633 Yds, 45 Y/G, 6.4 Avg, 2 TD

Wes Welker, NE – WR
2007: 3 Gm, 20 Rec, 221 Yds, 74 Y/G, 11 Avg, 1 TD
2006: 16 Gm, 67 Rec, 687 Yds, 43 Y/G, 10 Avg, 1 TD
2005: 16 Gm, 29 Rec, 434 Yds, 27 Y/G, 15 Avg, 0 TD

Matt Schaub, HOU – QB
2007: 3 Gm, 100 QBRat, 76 Cmp%, 688 Yds, 4 TD, 3 Int
2006: 16 Gm, 71 QBRat, 67 Cmp%, 208 Yds, 1 TD, 2 Int
2005: 16 Gm, 98 QBRat, 52 Cmp%, 495 Yds, 4 TD, 0 Int

MY TAKE - GRYLLS: I’m not going to beat around the bush here… cause that would be disgusting, but Jerious Norwood is an absolute animal. I know he’s not a number one Running Back on his team, but neither should Warrick Dunn be. He’s shown glimpses of genius throughout last year and a few times already this year. I give the Falcons 1 – 2 more games before they realize they’re wasting their time starting Warrick Dunn every game and not giving this young talent the reps he needs to break out in this league. Unlike with Lynch and the Bills, Norwood and the Falcons should have some serious opportunities to put up some yards in the next few games as they face HOU, TENN, NYG, and NO. In limited action this season he’s averaging 4.8 yrds /rush, given the opportunity he could get back to his impressive 6.4 yrds /rush average from last season.
Wes Welker… do we really need to say more than he’s a receiver for the Patriots? No, not really… but what the hell. Tom Brady has shown a solid connection with Welker thus far and with the way the Patriots are playing right now this has no reason to change. Add to this the fact that the Patriots cheat regularly and Welker’s consistent performance should continue throughout the year.
Okay, Matt Schaub is mediocre at best and should consistently sit on the Grylls’ bench. He’s got years of experience sittin the bench so this really shouldn’t be a change for him.


OVERALL: All in all, I got to give a slight nod to the Chicago Bear Grylls with this trade. Yes, I’m mainly basing this on the fact that I’m 100% sure Jerry Porter will break the league rules on substance abuse before the end of the season (I’m talking about weed. Just look at him, he loves it.) With the injury to Deuce McAllister, Marshawn Lynch gives the Maulers a starting running back to immediately patch up a thin fantasy RB lineup.
For the Grylls, the addition of a skilled wideout playing for the most productive offensive unit in the game right now should immediately bolster an already solid fantasy WR corps. Add to that the upside that comes with Norwood and the opportunity to unload the Sex Canon that comes with Schaub and you got yourself a fantasy trade victory. THE END.

Oh yeah, I forgot to talk about what Jerry Porter adds to the Maulers. Ummmmm, besides a reason to watch Raiders games… A headache? No, the answer is nothing. He brings nothing. He’s a terd. THE END.

Grade The Trade: 9/23/07

Adam Davis and Jordan Yingling announce a 6 player deal. The trade will send Peyton Manning and Patrick Crayton to Jordan, who will send Jay Cutler, Cedric Benson, Chris Brown, and Hines Ward to Adam.
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From Jordan's Perspective - The long and short of it: Jordan unloads Jay Cutler and picks up a bona fide stud quarterback in Manning. The price he paid to get him was three starters (Benson, Cutler, Ward) and a throw-in running back (Brown), but Jordan has cemented his quarterback position for the remainder of the season. Making this trade makes Jordan a much more complete team. He already had Shaun Alexander and Marion Barber at running back, so giving up Benson and Brown doesn't sting too badly. He's already got Reggie Wayne and Calvin Johnson (who may be banged up after Sunday's game), so losing Ward isn't all that detrimental. Getting Crayton back may prove to be a good move so he can play the matchups at WR3. All in all, when you get a guy like Peyton back, you probably made a really good deal.
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From Adam's Perspective - The guys Adam got back here will be compared to Cadillac and LaMont for the rest of the season. It's inevitable. We said one deal was unfair and the other was fair. Hopefully we did a good job of deciding between the two. Having said that, Cedric Benson is a good, not great fantasy back. He's stuck on a team where the quarterback is completely ineffective, so opposing defenses can key the run. On the flipside, though, his defense is arguably the league's best (last night notwithstanding), so in theory, he should have many chances to run the ball throughout the course of a game. He's certainly head and shoulders better than whoever Adam was using in the past, so this is a major upgrade.
Chris Brown is a stiff in my opinion. He may have led the league in rushing yards after Week 1, but he managed only 34 yards the next week. The problem with Brown may be similar to Benson's: opposing defenses aren't scared of getting beat by the passing game. Vince Young, while he's definitely a playmaker, doesn't command the full attention of an NFL secondary, and that can draw extra guys in against the rush. Besides, Brown is in a platoon with LenDale White, who was the more effective back in Week 2.
Hines Ward is certainly a threat at wide receiver, although a knee injury may cause him to miss some time. Pittsburgh seems to be more comfortable with their passing game this year, and if healthy, Ward is a definite starter on Adam's team.
The biggest improvement however, may be the addition by subtraction of Peyton Manning. Adam can also plug in Tom Brady every week and not worry that he's making the wrong decision. Whereas playing the matchups between the two could have left a lot of points on the bench every week, Brady over Cutler is a much easier decision to make than Brady over Manning.

The Winner: Slight edge goes to Jordan Yingling.

Postscript: Last week's Davis trade fiasco could have probably been avoided. I blame Bill Belichick. All you heard in the world of sports was about gaining unfair competetive advantages and I let these stories sculpt my opinion of what I believed was a seedy deal between seedy brothers. I understand that Adam's options were somewhat limited. I know the last thing he wanted to do was sit Brady or Manning on the bench for another week and start Musa and Chester. I still stick by my guns in vetoing that trade and allowing this one, but I apologize if anybody feels like I ruined their season. So, if you're still raw about it next time I see you, free beer on Hefty.

Grade The Trade: 9/20/07

Adam takes a dump all over the rest of the league with this ridiculous trade.

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BREAKING: Adam Davis and Paul Davis (Hmmm...that's weird, they have the same last name) announce a 4 player deal. The trade will send Peyton Manning to Paul, who sends Cadillac Williams, LaMont Jordan, and Jason Campbell to Adam.
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From Paul's Perspective: Let me get this straight. You trade three of your backups for the best quarterback ever to play the game. OK, I think we're done here. But just in case we're not, let's dig into this one a little bit. The fact that Paul traded Cadillac Williams (6th round, 70th overall), LaMont Jordan (9th round, 99th overall), and Jason Campell (13th round, 147th overall) for Peyton Manning (1st round, 8th overall) is CRIMINAL. If these two had announced before the draft that Adam was giving his 1st Round Pick to Paul for his 6th, 9th, and 13th, we would have rioted. So what's the difference 2 weeks into the season? If this trade does hold up (and I hope it doesn't...), Slimmy now adresses his one major weakness, Philip Rivers at QB. His team now starts Manning, LJ, Portis, The Bengal Twins, and Andre Johnson (when healthy). Simply put, I and 9 other of my leaguemates will be dancing in the streets if LJ blows out an ACL.
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From Adam's Perspective: I honestly have no idea where to start. Idiotic is the first word that comes to mind. Conspiracy is the second. What the eff? You really just traded your first pick of the draft for two running backs who WERE THE BIGGEST BUSTS IN FANTASY LAST SEASON and a throw-in black quarterback. Honestly, were any two running backs more disappointing last year than Caddy and LaMont? (Ok, Ronnie Brown, you can put your hand down...I'm trying to prove a point...) What makes you think this year will be any different? The first two weeks of the season? Here's a fact: Dominic Rhodes is back in two games, so LaMont Jordan is going to take another nosedive. Cadillac Williams doubled his 2006 touchdown total in last week's game. He's not a 10 touchdown guy! He's a 5 touchdown guy maybe. You can say that Jeff Garcia is moving the offense more effectively than Gradkowski did last year, but a tiger can't change his stripes. Caddy's not the kind of reward you'd expect to get back for trading the BEST QB EVER. Listen, I know I made fun of your backfield last week. Musa Smith and Chester Taylor can make a man do strange things, I get it. But flushing your season down the toilet so you can pick up two middle-of-the-pack running backs is stupid. You should have rested on your laurels, waited for another shitty week out of Brees, Bulger or McNabb, and pounced. You want to know how many guys are 100% happy with their current QB situation? Here's the list: You, Me, Rich. The. End. There are 9 other owners who are probably having some second thoughts about taking the wrong guy. So what do you do? You completely puss out and trade with your brother. Gay. I'm mailing Anthrax to the three guys you're getting in this trade. You don't deserve anything in return. You pussed out. You could have traded with Craig! You know, the guy with Vince Young and three of the best receivers in football? I just think you took the easy way out. I would have felt much better about this if there was at least a major family holiday that just happened. If this were Thanksgiving, I could tell myself, "Oh, Adam just drank too much and ate too much turkey. He probably got a little woozy and Slimmy talked him into a trade that a five year old would have turned down...Ah, well, boys will be boys!!" But no. You gave away Peyton Manning for three guys most teams could have found in their couch cushions. You suck. Faggot.

The Winner: Paul Davis by Technical Knockout

By the way, I had a good bit of Crown before I wrote this. So you can ignore the faggot line. The rest of it I'm pretty sure I'd admit to when sober.

Grade The Trade: 9/4/07

Matt Melvin and Rich Ely have announced a 4 player deal. The trade will send Jason Witten and Deion Branch to Melvin, while Rich will receive Tony Gonzalez and Tatum Bell.

From Melvin's Perspective: This trade gives Matt a desperately needed reliable third WR to start alongside Roy Williams and Chris Chambers. Matt Jones, or any of the Jaguars receivers, for that matter, weren't going to perform week in and week out, and this was a clear position of need for Melvin. The decision to cut Byron Leftwich and start David Garrard illustrates what kind of shambles the Jaguars passing game is in, so bringing in a guy like Branch, with a proven quarterback like Matt Hasselbeck, is a major boost for Melvin.

Jason Witten is a step down from Tony Gonzalez, but it may not be as big a dropoff as it seems. First of all, with all the weapons that the Cowboys have, they should at least be able to move the ball consistently, leading to red zone opportunites for Witten. Tony Romo is playing with a chip on his shoulder, and will look to Witten when Owens is double covered.

From Rich's Perspective: In trading for Tatum Bell, Rich really didn't improve his situation at the running back position. For a short while last week, it appeared that Lions running back Kevin Jones would be heading to the Physically Unable To Perform list, and miss a minimum of 6 weeks, however, Jones has survived the training camp roster cuts and is still part of the Detroit 53 man roster. This news makes Tatum Bell less appealing, even though he may be starting a few games until Jones is 100% healthy. Realistically, Tatum Bell will not crack Rich's starting lineup without an injury to either Laurence Maroney or Reggie Bush.

Tony Gonzalez, however, is an instant starter at tight end. While Kansas City's wide receivers don't scare anybody, Gonzo always seems to find a way to have a big season regardless. Larry Johnson is back with the team now after his holdout, so the offense has at least two proven weapons for defenses to key on. Getting Gonzalez was a good move for Rich, but he has to hope that the price he paid for him wasn't too steep.

The Winner: Slight edge goes to Matt Melvin.