Here We Go Again: Steelers-Colts Live Blog

Week 3 Power Rankings: The Fall of The A.P.T.s

So far this season, Slimmy's been running through the league like he's got a plasma sword.

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It never fails. I brag last week about how Aaron and I were 2-0, and now we're 2-1. I'm sorry about the temper tantrum. You guys can have your name back. Meanwhile, two young gentlemen DID improve to 3-0 this weekend, so it goes without saying that they'll be #1 and #2 in this week's edition of the Westside Village V Power Rankings.

1. Paul Davis (3-0, Previously #2) - Let's see. Best record, most points, and if he had a different last name, he'd be the proud owner of Peyton Manning.

2. Shawn Hussein (3-0, Previously #3) - Not piling up the points, per se, but managing to come away with a win three weeks in a row. Two-Time-Chumley award winner Randy Moss is the heart and soul of the team. Randy and the Patriots don't have a bye until Week 10. Will Shawn and the Pats both be 9-0 at that point?

3. Jon Hefty (2-1, Previously #1) - I threw out my shoulder patting myself on the back last week. I'm wondering what the hell Tomlinson is waiting for this season. All the reports I read say to relax; he'll be fine, he had a slow start last season, too. So let me get this straight...you don't play a single snap in preseason, and then you take 3 or 4 weeks of the regular season getting back into game shape. Well, I'm no genius, but it sounds like you might want to do that kind of thing when the games don't count. I know he doesn't want to get hurt, but maybe he's doing himself a disservice.

4. Craig Fritz (2-1, Previously #8) - Craig put a whoopin on me this week, but he's still below me on the power rankings? Why? Because it's my damn blog and I say I could still beat him 8 out of 10 games. Random thought here: at what point is it okay to start getting angry at your real-life favorite team for ruining your fantasy day, even though they're winning. Example: Brian Westbrook absolutely killed my chances of winning on Sunday. Is it okay that I start hoping for him to be tackled at the 1 yard line? I'm still rooting for the Eagles, just not Westbrook, right? I don't know. That's always been the gray area of fantasy sports.

5. Jordan Yingling (2-1, Previously #6) - Gets a slight bump in the rankings for picking up Manning. That just seems like the kind of move that gets a team from the playoff bubble to being a near-lock. I'm sure the number of Peyton Manning quarterbacked fantasy teams who make the playoffs is somewhere near 75%. It has to be.

6. Matt Melvin (1-2, Previously #10) - This is Ronnie Brown's world, and we're just living in it. Jason Witten has become an unstoppable beast at tight end. He's currently #2 in the tight end rankings, behind only Antonio Gates. Good steal from Rich.

7. Aaron Repucci (2-1, Previously #4) - Aaron, although 2-1, drops behind a 1-2 team. Why so harsh? Because Aaron's team has put up 110 fewer points on the season than Melvin, that's why. Is it too soon to call Maurice Jones-Drew a complete bust? Maybe, but we're definitely getting there.

8. Mike Walbert (1-2, Previously #5) - Mike got dealt the worst injury news of the fantasy season so far on Monday Night. Deuce is done for the year. Will he make a trade, sign a free-agent, or finally give Marcel Shipp the nod? Tune in and find out!!

9. Shelby Fidler (1-2, Previously #7) - Kevin Curtis and Brett Favre had some monster games for Shelby's squad last weekend. Too bad they were both riding the pine. A quick glance at Shelby's lineup this week says that they're both in there now. Might be a little too late, bud.

10. Rich Ely(1-2, Previously #11) - Rich begins his hobbit-like quest to regain his preseason #1 ranking. It will be a long road, but with Reggie Bush getting full-time duty, anything's possible I guess.

11. Dave Wanner (0-3, Previously #9) - The second worst injury news of the weekend had to be that Steven Jackson is out two or three weeks with some groin tearage. How does a groin tear feel? Let's ask MLB Slugger Ken Griffey Jr., an expert on such topics: "The best way I can describe it is that it feels like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut." Enjoy, Steven!!

12. Adam Davis (0-3, Previously #12) - Putting Adam at #12 every week is like picking the Special Ed kid last in kickball every gym class. Does it feel good doing it? Maybe at first, but not anymore. But does he deserve it? Yeah, yeah he does. Sorry, Special Ed Kickball Kid. You're twelfth again.

Handing Out Some Hardware: Week 3 Chumleys

For beating me, Craig's reward is his face on the prestigious Chumley.

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So Week 3 is now in the books and I'm proud to announce that this Chumley race is starting to show its first signs of life. Two of today's recipients have already won this coveted award, making them our first Two-Time-Chumley recipients. Who are they? Let's find out.
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Game 1: Craig def. Hefty - And the Chumley goes to...
Brian Westbrook, RB, Phi - If you watched the Eagles game this weekend, this one is obvious. Westbrook was clearly the most talented player on the field, rushing and receiving for 221 total yards. He also made three trips to the end zone. Unbelievable game after missing most of last week's practice. This is Brian's second Chumley award.
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Game 2: Rich def. Adam - And the Chumley goes to...
Reggie Bush, RB, NO - I put a little more emphasis on the players in Monday Night games. They feel more dramatic for fantasy purposes. Tony Romo put up better numbers, but Reggie Bush sealed the deal for Rich last night. As I predicted yesterday in 'Photo Finishes', Bush hit paydirt (twice) and propelled Rich to his first win of the season. Bush will now be getting the lion's share of the work in New Orleans after Deuce McAllister's knee injury, which is rumored to be a season ending ACL tear (sorry, Mike!).
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Game 3: Slims def. Shelby - And the Chumley goes to...
Philip Rivers, QB, SD - There were a couple worthy recipients on Paul's team, but Rivers put up 31.8 points as opposed to Shelby's quarterback, Marc Bulger, putting up -0.3. Rivers looks like he's finally developing into a trustworthy fantasy quarterback, putting up 5 passing touchdowns over the last two weeks against two solid defenses.

Game 4: Melvin def. Mike - And the Chumley goes to...
Ronnie Brown, RB, Mia - The big guy finally shows his potential with what is by far his best game as a pro. My take is that he's still too inconsistent to trust with a starting spot every week, but you certainly can't argue with a game like the one he had Sunday. Brown narrowly edges out McNabb because in my opinion, the Ronnie Brown stats were more WTF worthy.

Game 5: Shawn def. Aaron - And the Chumley goes to...
Randy Moss, WR, NE - Moss continues his assault on the AFC defensive backs with his third straight 100 yard game and second straight two touchdown game. He is currently the top ranked wide receiver in the game, but more importantly, he is now also a two-time Chumley award winner.

Game 6: Jordan def. Deewaan - And the Chumley goes to...
Marion Barber, RB, Dal - Barber picks up where he left off last season, which is making frequent trips to the end zone. He scored for the third straight game this season, and more importantly, for the first time all year, he got more carries than Julius Jones. Add in his first 100 yard rushing game of the season, and what's not to love here?

Congratulations to all our recipients, and keep posted for the updated Chumley Watch standings.

Week 3 Photo Finishes: Welcome to K-Ville!!

Reggie Bush will have to hang on to the ball for Rich to seal the deal tonight.

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Only two games remain close heading into Monday Night action. Sure, Vince Young could potentially throw 15 interceptions and allow me squeak by Craig, but it's not real likely. No, most of us could go for a nice bike ride or bake some cookies with a grandparent tonight instead of being a lazy bastard and watching three more hours of gridiron action. But you won't. Your bike will sit in the garage for another week, the chain getting rustier and the tires getting flatter. Your grandma will watch Wheel of Fortune with the volume up too loud, alone, and sigh as she looks at your picture. You never call her, you know. And what will you be doing? You'll be sitting on the couch, watching a game that has zero impact on your life.
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Unless your name happens to be Aaron, Shawn, Adam, or Rich. You guys are excused. You guys have it all riding on the line tonight. One of you will be 3-0. One of you will be 0-3. Let's break this sumbitch down and pick us some winners.

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Game 1: Aaron (1.2 point lead) vs. Shawn (Marques Colston)

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Analysis - OK. The Saints offense has been a bigger disappointment than the Sopranos finale, but Aaron's probably out of luck on this one. The 7th rounder out of Hofstra (my Lil' Sportswriter handbook says you're not allowed to mention Colston without stating both of these facts) only needs 1 catch for 10 yards for Shawn to tie Aaron. Even against a Titans defense who did a decent job of handling Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison a week ago, Colston should be able to find a hole in the defense on one or two plays, enough to help Shawn get out of this matchup with a 3-0 record.

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Game 2: Adam (7.2 point lead and Chris Brown) vs. Rich (Reggie Bush)

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Analysis - This seems like the kind of game where Reggie Bush plays like Reggie Bush should play. Good football players make good football plays. OK, I'm done with the Joe Theismann routine. Honestly, I would expect Bush to finally bust out of his slump in this game and at least find the end zone once. If the Saints offense can't gear themselves up for the first home game of the season, on Monday Night Football, if Sean Payton can't find a way to get Reggie Bush the ball where he's not immediately wrapped up by a ball carrier, if Drew Brees can't complete one or two long passes to get the defense on its heels a little bit and away from the line, then this team is out of excuses. I think this Saints team is sort of in the same position the Eagles were in yesterday. 0-2, playing a big home game that in reality shouldn't have been so big, and in essence, fighting for their playoff lives in mid-September. I have to think Reggie Bush becomes a factor in their gameplan much like the way the Eagles used Westbrook yesterday. On the flip side of the coin, if Chris Brown can sneak into the endzone just once, then Rich could lose. He doesn't have to have a great game and he probably won't. But one goal line carry could change the whole landscape of this matchup.
Of course, earlier this morning I called him a stiff, so it would be silly for me to say he'd carry Adam to a win. Rich wins this one, Adam drops to 0-3.

Grade The Trade: 9/23/07

Adam Davis and Jordan Yingling announce a 6 player deal. The trade will send Peyton Manning and Patrick Crayton to Jordan, who will send Jay Cutler, Cedric Benson, Chris Brown, and Hines Ward to Adam.
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From Jordan's Perspective - The long and short of it: Jordan unloads Jay Cutler and picks up a bona fide stud quarterback in Manning. The price he paid to get him was three starters (Benson, Cutler, Ward) and a throw-in running back (Brown), but Jordan has cemented his quarterback position for the remainder of the season. Making this trade makes Jordan a much more complete team. He already had Shaun Alexander and Marion Barber at running back, so giving up Benson and Brown doesn't sting too badly. He's already got Reggie Wayne and Calvin Johnson (who may be banged up after Sunday's game), so losing Ward isn't all that detrimental. Getting Crayton back may prove to be a good move so he can play the matchups at WR3. All in all, when you get a guy like Peyton back, you probably made a really good deal.
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From Adam's Perspective - The guys Adam got back here will be compared to Cadillac and LaMont for the rest of the season. It's inevitable. We said one deal was unfair and the other was fair. Hopefully we did a good job of deciding between the two. Having said that, Cedric Benson is a good, not great fantasy back. He's stuck on a team where the quarterback is completely ineffective, so opposing defenses can key the run. On the flipside, though, his defense is arguably the league's best (last night notwithstanding), so in theory, he should have many chances to run the ball throughout the course of a game. He's certainly head and shoulders better than whoever Adam was using in the past, so this is a major upgrade.
Chris Brown is a stiff in my opinion. He may have led the league in rushing yards after Week 1, but he managed only 34 yards the next week. The problem with Brown may be similar to Benson's: opposing defenses aren't scared of getting beat by the passing game. Vince Young, while he's definitely a playmaker, doesn't command the full attention of an NFL secondary, and that can draw extra guys in against the rush. Besides, Brown is in a platoon with LenDale White, who was the more effective back in Week 2.
Hines Ward is certainly a threat at wide receiver, although a knee injury may cause him to miss some time. Pittsburgh seems to be more comfortable with their passing game this year, and if healthy, Ward is a definite starter on Adam's team.
The biggest improvement however, may be the addition by subtraction of Peyton Manning. Adam can also plug in Tom Brady every week and not worry that he's making the wrong decision. Whereas playing the matchups between the two could have left a lot of points on the bench every week, Brady over Cutler is a much easier decision to make than Brady over Manning.

The Winner: Slight edge goes to Jordan Yingling.

Postscript: Last week's Davis trade fiasco could have probably been avoided. I blame Bill Belichick. All you heard in the world of sports was about gaining unfair competetive advantages and I let these stories sculpt my opinion of what I believed was a seedy deal between seedy brothers. I understand that Adam's options were somewhat limited. I know the last thing he wanted to do was sit Brady or Manning on the bench for another week and start Musa and Chester. I still stick by my guns in vetoing that trade and allowing this one, but I apologize if anybody feels like I ruined their season. So, if you're still raw about it next time I see you, free beer on Hefty.

Round-Up: Week 3 Bajingos and Sasquatches

The pretty new jerseys make us forget that Donovan is a lousy black quarterback for a week.

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It's MONDAY!! That means hard hitting double blog postage from the Tag Team Champions of the Interweb, Mikey and Jonny. I'm admittedly in higher spirits today after an Eagles 2004-esque thrashing of the Motor City Kitties. However, not everyone in the NFL played as well as the Birds. Let's find them, point at them, and then laugh!

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BAJINGOS

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1. Steve Smith - Don't taze me, bro!!! Don't taze me!!! I was halfway done making a shrine to you in my computer room and you pull this crap?! I called you Keanu Reeves last week!! You know how badass that is? Instead, you hauled in 1 ball for 10 yards. You were Keanu Reeves, alright. Keanu Reeves in "The Lakehouse". What a douchetastic douche.
2. Marc Bulger - Negative 0.3 points? Really? Don't worry, Shelby, your backup only put up...let's see here...oh. 38 Points. Whoops.
3. Starting the Wrong White Guys - I just noticed this yesterday, but Shelby can trot out the unprecedented Three White Receiver offense at any time this year. He started two of the caucasians yesterday, Brandon Stokely and Joe Jurevicius. The one he kept on the bench? Kevin Curtis. Yikes. Strike two, Fidler.
4. Pardon Me Sir, Your Lee Evans Is Broken - Lee Evans is a serious candidate for Bust of the Year. Through three games, the breakout season of Lee Evans looks as follows: 5 catches for 29 yards. He also had an ugly temper tantrum on the field in last week's game against the Steelers that led to back to back penalties. Couple all this with news that JP Losman could be out indefinitely with a knee sprain, and there's really no redeeming qualities to Evans right now.
5. Rudi Johnson - Sure the 9 yards on 17 carries is atrocious, but the real story here is that with a little more effort out of Rudi, Melvin could have hit the 200 point mark. All of Melvin's other players (with the exception of Akers) scored in double digits.

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SASQUATCHES

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1. Anquan Boldin - Q put up a monster stat line, with most of the damage coming once Matt Leinart was benched in favor of Kurt Warner. 14 catches, 181 yards, 2 TDs. Dayum. Unfortunately, Leinart is expected to get the nod next week.
2. Ronnie Brown - The man I love to hate was a Sasquatch this week, plain and simple. 112 rushing yards, 99 receiving yards, 2 rushing touchdowns, 1 receiving touchdown. That's unbelievable production, and should finally put to bed any talk of the timeshare with Jesse Chatman down in Miami.
3. Philip Rivers - Slimmy's "weak link" (my words in last week's column) sure didn't play like one. Against a Green Bay defense that had befuddled Donovan McNabb and Eli Manning in the first two weeks of the season, Rivers had a 306 yard, 3 touchdown day. The guy we told him he couldn't have, Peyton Manning, put up a mere 18 fantasy points. Karma pisses in our Cheerios once again.
4. That Guy Who's Banging That Model - Tom Brady had another unbelievable fantasy performance, posting 311 yards and 4 touchdowns (2 to Randy Moss). And for a change, he was actually in Adam's starting lineup. This change may well have earned Adam his first win of the season, but more on that later.
5. Five - Donovan McNabb silenced his critics (for a few days anyway), with a 381 yard, 4 touchdown performance. He was helped out by the receiving heroics of Kevin Curtis (3 touchdowns) and Brian Westbrook (1 receiving, 2 rushing), who pulled a move that warranted several DVR rewinds. But for once this season, it finally looked like McNabb is capable of playing at a high level when the pressure is on. Good to have you back, Donovan.

Monday Morning Slobbering Yap: 9/24/07

Please, stop laughing at the Ball Maulers, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart.

1. I think that I must've done something to receive these last two weeks of ass whoopings, all while I put up decent pointage. So, in rolling with that, this week I will take the opposite viewpoint on several issues, with the hopes that reverse psychology will help turn the luck around. Kinda like My Name is Earl or something...
a. I do not think Paul Davis will grow up to be a cunning pedophile.
b. Aaron's team is good, not lucky.
c. I respect Adam's drafting strategy. Also, he's not whining. Not at all. Neither am I.
d. Shelby isn't even thinking about sitting Kevin Curtis for Brandon Stokely. He's also not sitting with a gun to his head and a blowtorch near his eyeball.

2. I think single women everywhere should have their pink Tasers handy now that Shawn Hussein is on the prowl again. So I hear.

3. I think that Michigan game was just a total embarrassment to the Penn State community. Couldn't even talk about it immediately after the game was over. How sad. Joe, Jay, Galen. They're all complicit in that debacle. Let the guys succeed, coaches. Don't play like women. Triple Ugh.

4. I think I'll start backpedaling on my shouts about Randy Moss being overrated. OK, the guy is exceeding my expert expectations. I'm a man. I'll accept that. But I fully expect him to hit a woman in the crosswalk with his vehicle any day now.

5. I think Lady in the Water was terrible. Just saw it this week. M. Night's movies are some of my favorites but that was a stinker.