Week 11: Power Rankings + Chumleys = POWER CHUMLEYS!!!

I took the liberty of slightly modifying Dave's original. Shelby, this holiday season, may you be teabagged umercilessly by the entire offensive line of the Miami Dolphins (the league's fattest!!).

Well, fantasy nerds, it's a very short week here at ALSAP!!, as I head west in just a few hours to spend Thanksgiving out in Pittsburgh. As such, Power Rankings and Chumleys will be combined into one breakneck paced column I like to call POWER CHUMLEYS!!! Please contain your excitement and bladder, and join me for our weekly look around the league.

1. Shawn (9-2, W2, Previous #1)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Randy Moss, WR, NE. This is Randy's 4th Chumley. Moss grabbed 4 touchdowns Sunday night, in the first half alone.
Playoff Prognosis: Clinched.

2. Rich (8-3, W3, Previous #2)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Tony Romo, QB, Dal. Last year's Thanksgiving game was the official coming out party for the Romosexuals. With an easy matchup against the J-E-T-S on Thursday, there could be more of the same in store.
Playoff Prognosis: Clinched.

3. Slims (8-3, W1, Previous #3)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Andre Johnson, WR, Hou. It's scary to think that Slimmy's third best WR might be Chad Johnson, although Chad hasn't scored since Week 2, so I think that's pretty accurate.
Playoff Prognosis: Clinched.

4. Hefty (6-5, L2, Previous #4)
Wrong time in the season to start a losing streak. The fact that I'm having a tough time deciding between Matt Schaub and Carson Palmer this week tells you that things haven't gone as well for my second round pick as I would have liked.
Fun Fact: I've also traded away my third and fourth round picks, and my fifth round pick is hurt. If not for some brilliantly unexpected WR play out of Braylon and Welker, I'd be hovering around 3-8 right now.
Playoff Prognosis: Can clinch with a win.

5. Aaron (7-4, L1, Previous #5)
Ladies and gentlemen, we've officially found our panicked GM at the trade deadline. I like to imagine Aaron at home, pacing around the room with a carton of Marlboro Reds, staring at a big rotary telephone, screaming at it to try to make it ring. Relax, A-Rep. Donald Lee does not a championship team make.
Playoff Prognosis: Clinched.

6. Jordan (6-5, W1, Previous #8)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Brandon Marshall, WR, Den. Marshall not only caught a touchdown on MNF sealing the win over Aaron, but he actually was Jordan's highest scorer with 13.9 points.
Playoff Prognosis: Can clinch with a win.

7. Craig (5-6, W3, Previous #7)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Terrell Owens, WR, Dal. Extreme badassery out of Owens this week. It's hard to admit this, but as an Eagles fan, it's almost better to root for the Cowboys in divisional matchups on the basis that the Eagles need a lot of help to make the playoffs. Having said that, I'll be hurling turkey bones and egg nog at the television on Thursday if Owens has another monster game tomorrow.
Playoff Prognosis: Controls his own destiny.

8. Shelby (5-6, L1, Previous #6)
I know I've mentioned this before, but it's embarrasing that on draft night I was given Brett Favre by ESPN.com and I raised a stink so I could go back and draft Rex Grossman. That's a major kick in the sack.
By the way, how about the Lions playing a game on Thanksgiving you're actually excited to watch? GB @ Det is finally a relevant game, and it kicks off at 12:30, which means I have to eat even more piggishly to get down to the in-laws basement to watch TV.
Playoff Prognosis: Controls his own destiny.

9. Adam (4-7, W2, Previous #10)
Week 11 Chumley recipient: Tom Brady, QB, NE. If you haven't seen it, go over to Kissing Suzy Kolber and watch the youtube clip of Andrea Kremer interviewing Tom Brady. It's almost impossible that a 17 second clip could be so uncomfortably awkward, but it most definitely is.
Playoff Prognosis: Needs help.

10. Mike (4-7, L3, Previous #9)
What's your record since getting engaged? Just curious.
As Mickey famously quipped in 'Rocky': "Women weaken legs." And by "legs", I think he was talking about "quality of life in general".
Playoff Prognosis: Needs help.

11. Dave (3-8, L3, Previous #11)
Ok, so your team sucks. At least you're gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to stick a couple fistfulls of stuffing in your cavity tomorrow morning.
Playoff Prognosis: Needs a borderline miracle.
Male Model Prognosis: So hot right now.

12. Melvin (1-10, L8, Previous #12)
Playoff Prognosis: Not a friggin chance.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!