Gather 'round, young whippersnappers. We got ourselves an AFC North game tonight, and three fantasy matchups still in the balance. Let's see who wins and who loses.
Game 1: Craig (19.4 points) vs. Deewaan (Derrick Mason)
I've written Craig off for dead, literally, so it only makes sense that he loses in completely agonizing fashion tonight. Besides, I'll be cheering heavily for the Ravens tonight, so to fulfill my master plan, D-Mase will need to step up and put up some major numbers. No running back has had a good game against the Steelers, since I think the late '60's, so let's see if the Ravens can't find some success Air-Mc-Nair-ing it out. 2 TD's and 80 yards should get the job done (yes, I know he only has two all season so far), and Dave slips by Craig.
Game 2: Rich (33.9 points, Santonio Holmes) vs. Mike (Willie Parker)
33.9 points would be a monster game against the Ravens defense, no matter how much they may have slipped from years past. However, adding in Santonio's points will only make it all the less likely that Mike can climb this deficit and win this one. Rich wins comfortably.
Game 3: Hefty (60.5 points) vs. Adam (Hines Ward, Todd Heap)
Something tells me I can breathe easy in this one and just work on putting the finishing touches to my 1:5 scale replica of Adrian Peterson. I chose to construct the shrine out of brownie batter, so when I'm done, I can pop him in the oven and snack away at my Purple Fantasy Savior during upcoming Vikings games. Mmmmm...sacrelicious.

11 comments:
Man, I even changed my name and I still get crapped on!
Whoa!!
Hot new name change!!!!
So are you the Grim Reaper or He Whom Is About To Be Reaped?
I am the Death Knell and I'm coming for your soul.
D-Mase and the Danglerz are coming to REAP you Craig!
I actually thought I had it locked up until last night when Reggie Brown shat the bed and T.O. and B-West put up a combined 50something to put you in the lead.
I CANNOT LOSE TO THE AREOLAS OR MY NAME WILL BE MUD!!!
One down, four to go.
Are we combining the B-jings, S-quatches, and Chums this week? Lots of candidates...
New segment! New segment! New segment! The people demand it!!
The people have been demanding a new Untrained Chef recipe for a month now, to no avail.
WHAT ARE WE TO EAT?!
I'll try to put one up this week.
No you won't, Craig.
The quinoa was good.
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