Week 9 Photo Finishes: Primanti Brudders Edition!!

Stole this picture right off of ESPN.com's NFL page. I'm even getting too lazy to Google.

Gather 'round, young whippersnappers. We got ourselves an AFC North game tonight, and three fantasy matchups still in the balance. Let's see who wins and who loses.

Game 1: Craig (19.4 points) vs. Deewaan (Derrick Mason)
I've written Craig off for dead, literally, so it only makes sense that he loses in completely agonizing fashion tonight. Besides, I'll be cheering heavily for the Ravens tonight, so to fulfill my master plan, D-Mase will need to step up and put up some major numbers. No running back has had a good game against the Steelers, since I think the late '60's, so let's see if the Ravens can't find some success Air-Mc-Nair-ing it out. 2 TD's and 80 yards should get the job done (yes, I know he only has two all season so far), and Dave slips by Craig.

Game 2: Rich (33.9 points, Santonio Holmes) vs. Mike (Willie Parker)
33.9 points would be a monster game against the Ravens defense, no matter how much they may have slipped from years past. However, adding in Santonio's points will only make it all the less likely that Mike can climb this deficit and win this one. Rich wins comfortably.

Game 3: Hefty (60.5 points) vs. Adam (Hines Ward, Todd Heap)
Something tells me I can breathe easy in this one and just work on putting the finishing touches to my 1:5 scale replica of Adrian Peterson. I chose to construct the shrine out of brownie batter, so when I'm done, I can pop him in the oven and snack away at my Purple Fantasy Savior during upcoming Vikings games. Mmmmm...sacrelicious.

Steelers Loss Is My Gain

Pick your head up, Willis, you've got some money to win for me.

SURVIVOR POOL UPDATE:
Since I know you're all anxiously awaiting the results of my Survivor Pools, I'll fill you in.

1. Kissing Suzy Kolber - It's not for money or anything, but I'm hoping once I win, Big Daddy Drew will deliver me a handwritten letter of gratitude and an invitation to quit my real job and blog for KSK full time. 50 original entrants has whittled itself down to 4, of which Chicago Bear Grylls is still one. All of us won in Week 9, with myself choosing Tampa Bay.

2. My Dad's Fancy Manhattan Co-Workers - This was 10 entries at 25 bucks a piece. We're now down to 3 finalists, of which Turn Your Head And Coughlin (that would be me) is still one. This week, I selected Tampa Bay, as I believe in an all-or-nothing approach in my picking. The two other guys in the pool are taking Pittsburgh, at home against the Ravens tonight. If the Steelers lose, the contest is over and I win 250 bucks. If the Steelers win, we all move on to next week, and I probably am stuck picking some crappy team like the Panthers.

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of a Survivor (or Suicide) Pool, it can be explained thusly:
You select one team each week to win. If your team wins, you advance to the next week. However, any team you previously selected may not be chosen again. For the record, here's the teams that have helped me advance this far.

1. Seattle (def. Tampa)
2. Pittsburgh (def. Buffalo)
3. New England (def. Buffalo)
4. Dallas (def. St. Louis)
5. Tennessee (def. Atlanta)
6. San Diego (def. Oakland)
7. New Orleans (def. Atlanta)
8. Indianapolis (def. Carolina)
9. Tampa Bay (def. Arizona)