Week 12 Round Up: Bajingos and Sasquatches

Sean Taylor, although far from my favorite player, sure did put a lickin' on some Cowboys.

Well, this feature's got one more week of life left in it. When the playoffs start up, I reckon I'll be firing up a brand new recap feature to clue you in on the real happenings of the NFL Fantasy scene. With that in mind, let's break down our second-to-last sets of Bajingos and Sasquatches.

BAJINGOS

1. Arizona D, Tennessee D, Detroit D - The Cardinals and Titans both redefined defensive suckitude this week, as each put up a saucy negative 2 points. The Lions outdid them with negative 3! Very nice. Speaking of Tennessee, my free Titans windbreaker finally arrived as my gift for subscribing to Sports Illustrated. You know how you know I'm gay? I ordered a Titans windbreaker because I like their colors.

2. Lee Evans - Evans was held to 2 catches for 19 yards after looking like he had finally turned the corner this season. Word out of Buffalo is that the Bills will take one more ride on the quarterback carousel, with Trent Edwards starting next week. Nothing like switching QBs every two weeks to help build continuity among an offense.

3. Clinton Portis - Portis had a decent game overall, piling up 101 total yards on 20 carries and 5 catches. However, he also lost two fumbles in a turnoverfest down in Tampa.

4. LenDale White - The USC Thug put up 3.2 points against the NFL's worst defense. Enough said.

5. Pretty Much Everybody Who Played Last Night, But Especially Heath Miller - 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 vicious tackles on Joey Porter after his interception. J-Peezy got off easy, as Big Ben was the one who wrassled him to the mud-drenched turf.

.
SASQUATCHES

1. Kurt Warner - Game-ending/suicide-pool-destroying fumble or not, 484 yards is 484 yards. Curious statline for Tim Rattay in this game though, who came in for 1 pass, tossed a touchdown, and got out of dodge. A closer look at his stats shows that this has actually been the case in 3 of the past 5 games.

2. Kolby Smith - Herm Edwards does not baby his running backs. A year after feeding Larry Johnson an NFL record number of carries, the Chiefs, who are quickly running out of fresh bodies to run the ball, gave rookie Kolby Smith the rock 31 times. He responded with 150 yards and 2 touchdowns.

3. Vikings D - Anybody who can make Eli Manning look like he's just pissed himself is a winner in my book. The Vikings set an NFL record by taking three of Manning's throws back the other way for touchdowns.

4. Brett Favre - Watching Packers/Lions helped ease the pain in my bloated gut after a Thanksgiving Day feast. Favre was surgical on Sunday, completing 20 straight passes, despite the fact that the Packers refused to run the ball during that period to take some of the load off Favre. I dislike Favre, but he definitely displayed some big time accuracy and the dude still has a cannon at age 38. Favre finished with 381 yards and 3 TDs.

5. Chad Johnson - Another guy I'm growing to dislike is Chad Johnson. Once upon a time, when I owned him in my keeper league, Chad was my favorite non-Eagle in the league, with his jaw-dropping catches and zany celebrations. Now, he's starting to become the Paris Hilton of the NFL. He doesn't do all that much anymore, and yet, the camera refuses to look away. Well, for once, Chad had a great game, hauling in 12 catches for 103 yards and 3 scores.