Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Week 6 Chumleys: The Mucus Queen Is Yours!


The NFL hasn't seen a neck like that since Merton Hanks roamed the 49ers secondary.

Ah Week 6, we hardly knew ye. It was definitely my favorite football weekend of the young season, with PSU, the Eagles, and both my fantasy teams notching wins. But alas, all good things come to an end. Let's take one last look back and see who's worthy of some well-earned hardware.

Game 1: Shawn def. Craig - And the Chumley goes to...
Joey Galloway, WR, TB - If you had asked me before the season to name some potential 2-time Chumley award winners, I would have given you about 200 other names before I got to Galloway. But now, here in week 6, Galloway has pulled himself into the drivers seat in this MVP race. Joey helped his case on Sunday with a 4 catch, 97 yard, 1 touchdown day to lead all of Shawn's scorers with 18.8 points.

Game 2: Hefty def. Deewaan - And the Chumley goes to...
Adrian Peterson, RB, Min - The rest of the internet seems to be giving this guy his proper ball washing (scroll down to 'Should Peterson Have Been No. 1?' post on that last link), so I'd better get my licks in before it's too late. While I still think it's more likely that he'll get tragically injured before he ever has a game like that again, Peterson was unbelievably good against a Bears defense that, while a little banged up, is still one of the elite defenses in the NFL. His first touchdown run looked like something out of Tecmo Super Bowl, and the other two weren't so bad either. Anyway, Adrian gets the slight nod over Tomlinson and Braylon Edwards this week, and hopefully it won't be his last.

Game 3: Adam def. Shelby - And the Chumley goes to...
Tom Brady, QB, NE - He partially gets the nod due to beating the Cowboys, ending the media-grope-fest that was going on over Tony Romo and Dallas for the past 5 weeks. He also partially gets the nod for playing the best 60 minutes of quarterbacking anybody's slapped together this season (even better than Carson Palmer's 6-touchdown Week 2). 388 yards. 5 TDs. No interceptions. Unbelievable. He kept everybody involved in the offense, going from one star wideout to the next. It was a wildly entertaining game that lived up to the massive hype, and Brady had a lot to do with that.

Game 4: Aaron def. Melvin - And the Chumley goes to...
Donte' Stallworth, WR, NE - Donte' was largely excluded from the Patriots passing game the first 5 weeks of the season, catching no more than 4 balls in any of those games. Well on Sunday, he broke out with 7 catches for 136 yards and a touchdown.
Excuse me for being pessimistic about the Eagles after a win, but would it really have killed us to try to work out a contract extension with this guy? If you wanted Kevin Curtis, that's okay, we still could have taken him, too. Curtis, Stallworth and Reggie Brown would have given us another major weapon to add to our offense which has been comatose in 4 out of 5 games this season. Just frustrating.

Game 5: Rich def. Jordan - And the Chumley goes to...
Tony Gonzalez, TE, KC - Gonzalez has scored over 10 fantasy points in the last four weeks, and now has just 5 points less than Jason Witten, the player he was traded for in our league before the season started. Gonzalez is benefitting from improved play in two out of the past three weeks from Larry Johnson, and the emergence of rookie Dwayne Bowe into the offense as a legitimate threat. The Chiefs are playing better offensively than I would have expected this year, and Gonzalez is showing that he's still one of the best tight ends in the league.

Game 6: Paul def. Mike - And the Chumley goes to...
TJ Houshmandzadeh, WR, Cin - I almost awarded this Chumley to Matt Stover for his 5/5 field goal, 18 point fantasy performance against St. Louis. But ultimately, TJ played well in a comeback rally that fell short (read: garbage time) against the Chiefs. He put up 8 catches for 145 yards and two touchdowns. TJ has caught at least 8 passes in all five of the Bengals games so far, and is second in the NFL in receptions (47) to only Derrick Mason (49), who has played one more game than Housh has.

One more thing...after my 212 point week, I'm feeling extremely generous. I feel like giving you all a gift that has blessed my life in oh so many ways.

Dearest readers, I give you, The Werewolf Bar Mitzvah. If you don't laugh at this, I don't ever want you coming back to A Little Slap And Pickle!! It's not for you.

13 comments:

Uncle Walbo said...

See, Richie, I told you not to worry about Tony G! It's been about the only thing I've correctly called this year.

Side note related to Gonzalez: While watching the games Sunday at a local establishment, I had the pleasure of sitting near a behemoth red-headed Chiefs fan who would bellow "TONY GEEEEEEEEEEE" ... even when the Chiefs were in the huddle. It was terrific!

So, you can understand that it was hard for me to decide whether it was more fun to sit near that Chiefs lunatic or sit directly next a guy who kept throwing down O'Doul's Amber, smearing blue cheese on his face from his sloppy chicken wings and falling asleep at least a dozen times at the bar. Having fun, I coughed really loud one time just to wake him. It worked.

Anonymous said...

I think the Chumley for my game should be Kurt Warner. His inflexible elbow gave Shawn the win this week.

Anonymous said...

look at craig trying to make excuses for his lack-luster season...

kurt's not blaming YOU for his rough season now is he craigger???

aslo, hefty...i'm surprised that you gave the nod to donte instead of mojo who grossed almost 2 hunny yards and 2 tittins downs???

Anonymous said...

Agreed! How does Mo-Jo put up 35 points and a lousy WR gets the Chumley nod instead. Outrageous!

Here's a novel idea... Why don't we use Craig's idea to have a league vote on everything imaginable and institute a weekly poll to decide the Chumley winners!

Uncle Walbo said...

Well, for one Aaron, that would require Shelby and Shawn to actually participate.

Citizen 10Cane said...

How was I supposed to bitch about the Eagles if Jones-Drew won the trophy?

Stallworth was a logical tie-in to my whining session.

No votes. Dictatorship > Democracy

Anonymous said...

bisbee! i am not julius!!!

i definitely do not agree with voting...

this is hefty's brain child...

let him roam free like a peacock strutting this plumage!!! this is a trustworthy saying: "never cage a peacock's plumage by trying to instate democracy"!!!!!

it was a big game for donte and it could have gone either way....mojo or donte...i was simply trying to create a minor blogging stir!

Anonymous said...

Looks like i'll be passing the commish duties on next year :(

Citizen 10Cane said...

Why?

Did you knock Kelly up?

Unknown said...

Why bring Kurt into this?

Uncle Walbo said...

I am completely confused now.

Citizen 10Cane said...

AAron, just create a Blogger account as Henry Trumpkinson, and we'll be able to know when you're posting, and when imposters post.

I'm super confused too, and I want to know why Craig's passing the torch.

Anonymous said...

Because people don't like polls, apparently :(