Week 6 Round-Up: Bajingos and Sasquatches

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!?! IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?!?!

Excuse me if I giggle like a roofied-up cheerleader through most of this post, because as we all know, pride most certainly comes before a fall. However, I can't help but think that the lemon squares with the cryptic note: "It's Deewaan Week. At My Signal, Unleash Hell" that I sent to all my players didn't have a profound effect on the Week 6 NFL landscape.
Several other fantasy teams played well despite the 6 NFL teams on bye this week, along with the never-ending carnage of injuries that has left the quality quarterback pool more decimated than the Barbarian Horde.
Indeed, it was a landmark day for this blogger's favorite whipping boy, Adam Davis, who rode the Ravens D, Tom Brady, and a few other warm bodies to his first victory of the year. Congratulations, Adam.
It was also a good day to be 4-1, as Aaron, Paul and Shawn will all improve to 5-1 after the dust settles on Week 6 tonight. Jordan was not as fortunate, falling to Rich's late-blooming team of juggernaut killbots.

But enough with intros, let's break down some game tape, Jaworski-style, and see who rose up, and played like Maximus, and who cowered in the shadows, and played like Commodus.

BAJINGOS

1. Sammy Morris, Marion Barber III, Julius Jones - Super Bowl XLI-I/II, as it was dubbed by Profootballtalk.com, was the barnburner everybody expected it to be. However, it was dominated by the passing game, with little being done on the ground. Sammy Morris ran 10 times for just 14 yards, and Julius Jones (51 yards) and Marion Barber (47 yards) just didn't have enough opportunities to make a difference in this game, despite their combined 7 yards per carry.
2. Marques Colston - Yes, he had a touchdown, but it was a 2 yard catch, which also happened to be his only one of the day. At a time when Drew Brees finally started clicking (25/36, 246 yds, 2 TDs), it's somewhat surprising to see him and Colston only hook up on one play.
3. Brett Favre - Although he's mostly on this list because I just dislike him, Favre also had a pretty lousy game against the Redskins, tossing for 188 yards and 2 interceptions. Mr. Favre also gets a Lifetime Achievement Bajingo today, for breaking the career interceptions record, despite every member of the media telling us that he's the best quarterback ever to play the game ever ever. However, he does advertise Wrangler jeans, which i find to be both comfortable, and a great bargain.
4. The Ball Maulers - The Boys of Bisbee are on the ropes after another loss to a previously winless franchise. Starting guys like Justin "Fargalicious" Fargas, Aaron Stecker, Jerry Porter doesn't help the cause, Santana Moss's -1.9 point day makes things even worse. Those four combined for a whopping 6.3 points yesterday.
5. Chester Taylor - Taylor had a good day. He rushed for 83 yards on 22 carries. He put up 10.2 fantasy points, even though Adam didn't start him. So his inclusion on this list may be surprising. But here's the thing...he carried 22 times!!! Step aside Chester, and let Purple Jesus fulfill his destiny by carrying the ball 42 times a game.

SASQUATCHES

1. LaDanian Tomlinson - Last week I bemoaned the Chargers scoring 41 points, and have none of them punched in by LT. This week, all 4 San Diego TDs were registered by the reigning MVP. Good to have you back. Having him playing at top speed again is like finding 100 bucks in an old pair of jeans. You had it all along, you just never knew it.
2. Braylon Edwards and Derek Anderson - I'll be the first to admit I was unsure about Braylon Edwards after drafting him this year. He seems like a lazy player, and I was less than thrilled with the Charlie Frye/Derek Anderson/Brady Quinn maelstrom at quarterback. However, Anderson and Edwards make such the fab team!!! Edwards now has 7 touchdowns on the year, putting him one behind Randy Moss for the NFL lead. Anderson also appears to have a firm grip on the starting QB job, letting Brady Quinn learn from the sidelines, which is what Cleveland really wanted for this year anyway.
3. Chris Cooley - Everytime I checked Fantasycast during the early games, Chris Cooley was there, flashing yellow, adding more points to his score. Cooley had 9 catches for 105 and a TD, and is definitely the most dynamic receiving threat that the Redskins have this year.
4. Tony Gonzalez - Not to be outdone, Gonzo put up 9 catches, 102 yards, and 2 touchdowns, breaking the all time record for most touchdowns by a tight end in NFL history. I didn't hear who the previous record holder was, but I'm guessing it's either Mike Bartrum or Shannon Sharpe, who is the reason this blogger once wore number 84 during his playing days as a multi-talented (read: blocking specialist) tight end.
5. Brady's Bunch!! TeeHee!! I came up with that all by myself!!!! - Tom Brady and his receivers put on a serious show yesterday, with Wes Welker emerging as the top beneficiary. All told, the trio of Moss, Welker, and Stallworth accounted for 5 touchdowns on 319 receiving yards. Just an unbelievable passing attack. There is no team in the NFL that has the cornerbacks to stop these guys. In all honesty, you really need 4 lockdown cornerbacks...2 for Moss, 1 for Welker, 1 for Stallworth. The only time they might face a team with 4 good corners is in the Pro Bowl, against the NFC all-stars. Unreal.

Bonus Sasquatch: Maurice Jones-Drew, who despite playing for a team who may or may not actually exist, does indeed have quite the strong pimp hand.

Well there you have it. I sucessfully managed to run down the Week 6 action without releasing my DNA all over the keyboard. And for that, I'm the biggest Sasquatch of them all.