Santonio Holmes led all wide receivers on Sunday with 27.3 points.OK, Mikey touched on it, Deewaan expanded on it, but let's shoot from the hip here. This was a gawd-awful Pennsylvania futbol weekend. It's bad enough that Penn State lost, but having to watch the ESPN game tracker to find out what's going on is primitive and excruciating. I hate this Big Ten Network with every fiber of my body. While Penn State is playing the meat of their schedule, Comcast Cable shows me games like "Akron-Connecticut", "Temple-Army", "Northern Illinois-Central Michigan", and of course, "Villanova-James Madison". This is a freaking joke. I enjoy nothing more than laying on the couch and watching football, but even I can't justify watching that crap.
So that's Saturday. Sunday rolled around, and while the Eagles-Giants was technically on television, I'm not sure I actually watched it. What I watched was a Donovan McNabb snuff film shot in High Def. This is (with the bizarrely notable exception of Week 3), the most excruciating team to watch in the NFL. Three out of their four games have been impossible to watch with any sense of excitement. The highest my blood pressure got all game was when Reno Mahe fumbled a punt. Thank you, Reno, you may now return to your job as a bus boy at Chickie's and Pete's. Awful.
Sidenote: Pittsburgh-Arizona wasn't necessarily an unentertaining game, but I had some severe nausea going from power-smoking my NL East Division Champion victory cigar and watched most of the game with a pillow over my head.
Ah yes, the Phillies. Glad I mentioned them. This was really the one bright spot of the weekend. I know earlier in the season I said that once the NFL kicked off, it was football season. I know I said the Phils would finish four games out. But I need something else other than NFL in my life right now. This playoff run is coming at a great time. Bring on the Colo-diego Rock-dres!!! (Stupid cell phone commercials, now you've got me doing it.)
BAJINGOS
1. Matt Leinart - Watching this game as a Cardinals fan must have been rough. They bench Leinart, bring Warner in. Warner gets them the lead, so they bring Leinart back in. Leinart gets banged up, so they bring Warner back in. Leinart shakes it off, so they bring Leinart back in. Where am I going with this? Ah yes. Matt Leinart stinks in real life and definitely stinks in fantasy life.
2. Jeff Wilkins - Thanks for the negative point, asspenis.
3. Philip Rivers - 211 passing yards, but also had numerous turnovers that you can see on your favorite NFL highlights show. The net result was 4.1 fantasy points, and 2.1 of those were from completed passes. Ugly game. Ugly team in general. Bad coach, lame QB, underachieving defense, stupid new uniforms.
4. Craigger's Set It and Forget It Receivers - Javon Walker didn't play, T.O. only managed 3 catches for 33 yards in a bloodbath over the Rams, and Marvin Harrison dinged up his knee, leaving him with just one catch for eight yards. On the bright side, Bobby Engram caught a touchdown.
5. Steve Smith - A Bajingo two weeks in a row. 5 catches for 32 yards, and he may be playing with David Carr for the forseeable future. Not what I had in mind when I drafted the guy.
2. Jeff Wilkins - Thanks for the negative point, asspenis.
3. Philip Rivers - 211 passing yards, but also had numerous turnovers that you can see on your favorite NFL highlights show. The net result was 4.1 fantasy points, and 2.1 of those were from completed passes. Ugly game. Ugly team in general. Bad coach, lame QB, underachieving defense, stupid new uniforms.
4. Craigger's Set It and Forget It Receivers - Javon Walker didn't play, T.O. only managed 3 catches for 33 yards in a bloodbath over the Rams, and Marvin Harrison dinged up his knee, leaving him with just one catch for eight yards. On the bright side, Bobby Engram caught a touchdown.
5. Steve Smith - A Bajingo two weeks in a row. 5 catches for 32 yards, and he may be playing with David Carr for the forseeable future. Not what I had in mind when I drafted the guy.
SASQUATCHES
1. Tony Romo - Holy crap, son. This guy has been unbelievable all year long, and although I hate complimenting Cowboys, he has definitely made them the team to beat. I liked him better when we all thought that bobbled snap would break his fragile psyche and he'd be horrendous.
2. Dallas Clark/Jason Witten - The Melvin-Fidler battle royale is coming down to the wire, and two of the reasons why are the tight ends. Dallas reeled in 2 TDs and 76 yards, Witten had 71 yards and a score of his own.
3. Jerry Porter - Wait a minute? This is the guy I just traded away for Wes Welker and a pair of gym socks? The guy I was ecstatic about including in any trade package just so I could show him the door? He had two touchdowns? Really????? Ugh. That may be the record for quickest trade-regret in fantasy history.
4. Peyton Manning - A solid day against a tough defense. 193 yards, 3 passing touchdowns, and a rushing touchdown. Sidenote: Cadillac Williams tore his patella tendon yesterday, Adam, so be thankful we didn't let you trade Manning for him. I can guarantee you'd be upset about that one today.
5. LaDainian - I think he's back on track. 132 rushing yards and a touchdown. As Peter King points out in his column though, 112 of those yards were in the first half. With the game still in question until late in the fourth, you're telling me you couldn't have come up with a few more plays for the reigning MVP? Still, I'll gladly take this over his last three weeks. Good game, little buddy.
7 comments:
I think since the league never got to vote on the Witten/Branch for Bell/Gonzales trade, we should reverse it.
I'll be proposing the offer to you today Melvin, thank you for accepting.
C'mon rich! You're on a two game roll! Don't jinx it now.
Roll? Maybe. But the fact that your team played like the week 2 Jabbers helped a lot. And the fact that the Westbrook decision wasn't made until after all the other games were started helped a bunch too. Ah, night games.
PS good pickup on Graham after I added and dropped him last week... apparently you knew something I didn't.
Craig can smell a Patellar Tendon tear a week before it happens, like how animals always know a hurricane is brewing.
It's a sixth sense.
Why is Holmes's pic at the heading of the column, but he was not named a Sasquatch? The picture always represents a Sasquatch.
You're right. That's a bad omission. I'm better than that.
I blame Jerry Porter, who has made me question my fantasy know-how since yesterday afternoon.
Yeah... I think some of you numbers may be inaccurate as well. If my memory serves me correctly, I watched Patrick Crayton earn around 35 fantasy points on my bench.
Don't worry Jon, I don't believe you were the only one that thought taking that garbage bag of Porter to the trash heap was a good idea. I may have possibly at some point seconded those sentiments.
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