Back To Business: Week 7 Chumleys

Repucci flashes an ice grill after beating Slimmy and climbing to the top of his division.

OK, enough of this birthday autofellatio nonsense, we's got some work to do. Although I always hate handing these out when I lose, the show must go on. Here are the stars that shone brightest in Week 7.

Game 1: Rich def. Hefty - And the Chumley goes to...
Santonio Holmes, WR, Pit - When in doubt, go with the guy who drove the last nail in the coffin. That's Chumley Tiebreaker Number 5. Due to a whirlwind weekend at State College, I didn't get home until about an hour before kickoff of the Steelers-Broncos game. And since I hadn't yet watched the Eagles debacle, I didn't check any fantasy scores. I watched the game on DVR, and then flipped open my laptop sometime in the second quarter of Steelers-Broncos at which point I was winning by about 4 points. A few minutes into the second half, Santonio caught a touchdown and drove the nail in my coffin. Santonio had a decent game, catching 6 balls for 54 yards and a touchdown. A case could also be made for Andre Davis, but I'm making the executive decision and going with Santonio.

Game 2: Deewaan def. Melvin - And the Chumley goes to...
LenDale White, RB, Ten - LenDale White refused to receive this award after he found out it was inedible. But seriously, LenDale White?! Indeed it's true. LenDale carried 27 times for 104 yards and a touchdown in Sunday's shootout win against the Texans. White piled up 22.5 points for Dave's squad, but wasn't even the most valuable Titan. That would be Rob Bironas, who was 8-8 on field goal tries.
This performance makes me all the more frustrated that we traded up with the Titans in 2006 to take Winston Justice in the second round, while they used our pick to take LenDale. I've always loved the big fella. He's a pile pusher.

Game 3: Aaron def. Slimmy - And the Chumley goes to...
Laver-anus Coles, WR, NYJ - This probably shouldn't count since he was playing the Bengals, but Coles posted 8 catches, 133 yards, and 2 TDs. Coles has quietly put together a nice season, as he now has 6 touchdowns on the year, and has scored 10 or more points in 5 games this season.

Game 4: Adam def. Craig - And the Chumley goes to...
Tom Brady, QB, NE - I suppose 21/25, 354 yards, 6 touchdowns, 0 interceptions is a decent day for a quarterback. But I say that Brady is too one-dimensional to make an impact in the NFL long-term. You want to hear his rushing stats??? 0 carries for 0 yards. Pathetic. Defensive coordinators will soon figure out that all he does is throw the ball, and that's when they'll pull the rug out from under the Patriots offensive scheme.

Game 5: Shawn def. Jordan - And the Chumley goes to...
Randy Moss, WR, NE - Looking back on things, it's pretty unbelievable that nobody else saw this coming. Sure, Moss can be disruptive (read: super black) at times, but there was no way that he wasn't still talented enough to become an elite wideout again. He made Culpepper look like John Elway, and we saw what happened to Pep once he lost Moss. He stunk for a while, then blew out his knee, changed teams twice, and still can't get a grasp on a starting role. With the G-D Raiders!! Meanwhile, Randy's in Cali playing with Kerry Collins and Aaron Brooks and Marques Tuisasopo and Andrew Walter, and we wonder why he's not lighting up secondaries anymore. So then you put him with an established passer, and what happens? Well, he's on pace to destroy the receiving touchdown record and lead a team to 16-0 and a Super Bowl win. Gee, that's all??

Game 6: Mike def. Shelby - And the Chumley goes to...
Cowboys, D/ST, Dal - Although I hate them because 1) they're the Cowboys, and 2) they held Adrian Peterson in check most of the day, you've got to applaud the effort by Big D's Big D. Dallas's D allowed 7 points, and returned a blocked field goal for a touchdown of their own. Even better, they broke Tavaris Jackson's finger on his passing hand, leading towards the inevitable scenario where Kelly Holcomb ends up starting this game and beats us after we traded him away in the preseason.

Congratulations to all the winners, and somebody tell Randy to start getting his acceptance speech ready for the end of the season.