Break It Down: The 2007 Pittsburgh Steelers - Chapter 2

After years of controversy and speculation, the long-rumored Gay Muppet finally makes an appearance.

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Editor's Note: In the final pre-draft edition of this blog, we are once again joined by Aaron Repucci who takes us on a week-by-week gondola ride through the upcoming Pittsburgh Steelers season. Take it away, sir.

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STEELER Season Breakdown:

Week 1: @ Cleveland
Please GOD let Brady Quinn start!!! Steelers beat the befuddled browns in an ugly, low scoring affair.
W: 17-6

Week 2: BUFFALO
Losman can’t handle the rowdy home opener crowd. Polamalu sask Losman once hard and helps contain Evans. Steeler’s offense looks a little better.
W: 23-13

Week 3: SAN FRAN
Gore held under 100 yards. Steelers hold up at home.
W: 24-17

Week 4: @ Arizona
Leinart is confused and terrorized by LeBeau’s 3-4 zone blitzing schemes (and from his memories of when we ate at the same Italian restaurant outside of USC). Parker rounds wild….over 150 yards.
W: 31-13

Week 5: SEATTLE
Big game at home. Fans are juiced up on iron city. Alexander is stuffed for under 100 yards. Steelers win in a close one.
W: 21-20

Week 6: BYE
Steelers win one billion to nothing.
Let’s press pause for a moment. I know what you’re thinking…5-0??? I know, I know. Steelers usually open seasons very poorly. But with this opening schedule 5-0 is very doable. I think Tomlin will have his team fired up coming out of the gate.
*Note: These five wins will help earn Tomlin favor and trust in the steel city.

Week 7: @ Denver
Steelers get complacent and rest on their laurels (what is a laurel anyway?). Cutler plays well. Bettis’ asthma acts up again. Steelers turn the ball over in an ugly game…
L: 10 - 24

Week 8: @ Cincy
The black n’ Gold rebound well off of their first loss and stun divisional rivals in their house.
W: 30 – 28

Week 9: BALTIMORE
MacGahee finds tough sledding in the burgh, but Benjamin struggles under the pressure of this big home game. Steelers plagued with turnovers.
L: 13 - 16

Week 10: CLEVELAND
Win….it’s Cleveland.
W: one billion - 0

Week 11: @ ny jets
I just can’t see the jets beating the Steelers.
W: 20 - 17

Week 12: MIAMI (Monday night)
Steelers are good at home on Monday night. Ronnie brown gains like 30 yards. Dan Marino cheers for the Steelers.
W: 27 - 13

Week 13: CINCY
Steelers always struggle with Cincy at home. Cincy gets revenge for the beating at home earlier in the season
L: 30 - 17

Week 14: @ New England
Steelers win! Why? Because upsets happen. Steelers have the tools to win big games. And because Tom brady is a tool. The Pats lose 4 games this year…one loss comes from the Steelers…in their house!
W: 27-24

Week 15: JACKSONVILLE
Steelers ALWAYS struggle against the Jags. Steelers lose coming off of the big win against the patties.
L: 17-16

Week 16: @ St. Louis (Thursday)
NFC sucks. Steelers 3-4 contains Jackson. Big Ben looking really sharp at this point in the season.
W: 27-24

Week 17: @ Baltimore
This is the battle for AFC North title. Both teams come in with 11-4 records. Steelers struggle under the pressure of the title game and can’t handle Baltimore D in Baltimore’s house. Low scoring, defensive struggle, but the baltimore birdies come out on top and take the division.
L: 20-16

SEASON: 11-5
Steelers grab a wild card spot!!

Break It Down: The 2007 Pittsburgh Steelers - Chapter 1

BLACK COWHER!!!!! BLACK COWHER!!!!!

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Editor's Note: Today we have a special guest author, Aaron Repucci, who will walk us through the storylines behind the 2007 Steelers. This is part 1 of a 2 part series.

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STEELERS ’07: 99 Problems but Champion Beer Pong Representatives Aren’t 1

Steelers come in to the 2007 season with so many ????’s. Sure, no one has crashed an auto bike, but the replacement of the steel city’s beloved kordell kissing coach, Bill Cowher, is enough to have everyone’s panties in collective bunches. Not to mention the fact that the iron makers are coming off of a mistake filled, disappointing 8-8 season. Plus…who’s that big headed guy with overall’s running around in the stands creeping everyone out??? That creeper mascot is gonna be the sole cause of at least 6 roethlisberger INT’s.

But anyways…let’s get down to business…

Q1. TOMLIN, TOMLIN, TOMLIN…oh yeah…and ARIANS?????

Umm….mom…where’s bill cowher?? What is that really tan fellow doing with a headset on??? Mom??!!! Over 15 memorable seasons, steeler fans grew to trust cowher with their hearts, lives, children, prescription drugs and football team….and then he breaks our hearts and leaves…

Enter stage right, mike tomlin, walking on his own two legs all fat and cocky. With zero years as a head coach, no one is really sure how Tomlin will hold up. Early reports out of camp look good. ESPN reported that Tomlin is holding one of the most physical camps in the NFL and making a point to let players know that this is HIS team now….that he is the alpha male. Mental warfare tactics include Tomlin dressing in all black outfits…long sleeved, long panted…so that no player can complain that it’s “too hot.” That’s what I like to hear, especially if the steelers want to maintain their rep as a hard nose, smash mouth fball team.

While this seems all well and good, what worries me more is the implementation of a new offense and sort of a new defense. Arians (scary right off the bat cuz his name sounds like he want to make a perfect human) intends to stretch the offense out and open things up a bit. GULP. This is scary…(more on this in Q2). But let’s just say that the offense has looked way less than stellar in the preseason.

Reports out of camp are that LeBeau’s frickin’ awesome zone blitzing schemes are being “blended” with Tomlin’s “Tampa 2” style of defense (don’t forget he was a defensive coordinator before this). While these two defensive master minds could create an amazing mutant beast of an attacking, killer defensive…they also might create something that’s just flat out too complicated or confusing. I hope it’s the mutant beast. But it sure would be funny to see larry foote and marvin Harrison running around in circles with their hands in the air while the stereotypical circus clown music plays in the background…yeah…go ahead…picture that one in your head.

Q2. BIG BEN? Or ACCIDENT BEN?

Big Ben went from a few mistake QB to a mistakeful QB in one season. Let’s look at the stats…’05 Season – 9 INT’s…..’06 Season - TWENTY THREE frickin’ INT’s. While I do think that B Roth will improve upon his ’06 #’s regardless of the offensive scheme, I think he fit perfectly in the to steelers ’05 scheme which relied heavily on the run and just needed him to convert 3rd and longs (which he did very well) and to NOT TURNOVER the ball. An Arian run offense looking to stretch out the offense and put more emphasis on the passing game might not be the best fit for Mr. Benjamin?????

Q3. STEELY MCBEAM??? McWTF???

I got nothin…Steeler’s head office just made the Steelers into the laughing stock of the nation…I have no defense for these shenanigans. It is just outright awful. Will STEELY destroy the team? Maybe…just maybe…

Q4. PARKER’s GROIN?

While I like Barlow and Najeh (g@yest name ever…say it slow and with a deep voice…you’ll see) as back ups, Steelers success is largely dependent on Willie Parker. I think he has the goods to deliver. But the question is…can he keep his goods healthy?

Q5. PORTER GONE? EMOTIONAL LEADER? MATT FOOLEY (rip)??

Porter lost some of his edge last year. So while I don’t think the Steelers will miss his play too much, I think they will miss his emotional leadership. Who will step up and be the heart of the D??

Q6. DOES MANIMAL HAVE A WOLVERINE-ESQUE HEALING FACTOR?

Polamalu wasn’t the same last year. This man beast with a terrifying black mane straight from the depths of hades was feared in the ’05 season. But a concussed head and knee ligamental problems took the bite out of this tiger in ’06. His return to altered beast status will be directly linked to the success of Pittsburgh’s D in 2007.
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Q99. DOES BAYLOR PUNTER SEPULVEDA LIKE PUPPIES???

This one speaks for itself and will be pivotal for a successful steeler season.



SEASON BREAKDOWN COMING SOON……..

Break It Down: The 2007 Penn State Nittany Lions - Chapter 3

Craig's crystal ball says PSU is going to the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl.

If that's true, I'm definitely wearing/eating a nacho hat during the game.

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Editor's Note: The following is the next installment of the PSU 2007 season preview. Once again, our sherpa through the Happy Valley is none other than Kaiser Craig von Fritz.

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PSU Game by Game Predictions – By the Commander

#18 PSU vs. Florida International – Sept 1, 12pm, Big Ten Network (BTN) – The Golden Panthers come to town following a remarkable 0-12 season that was made even worse by a high publicized brawl with cross-town foe Miami. They gave up an average of 300 yds/game. Expect more of the same when they visit the Beav. The Lions light it up early and often.

PSU 40 FIU 6

#18 PSU vs. Notre Dame – Sept 8 – , 6pm, ESPN – The Golden Domers visit Happy Valley for the first time in over a decade in one of the most anticipated match-ups of the young season. The Lions will be hungry for revenge after facing a 41-17 whipping at the hands of Fat Charlie and Co. in 2006. The tables are turned now, however. The Irish lost their top QB, RB and top 3 WRs. A work-in-progress offense will find scoring difficult against a stout Nittany Lions defense. Though their running game is formidable, ND’s turnstile at the QB position will limit them through the air. Expect a raucous crowd for a game that might break the all-time attendance record at Beaver Stadium. ND keeps it close until the 3rd, but a costly turnover helps the Lions win going away.

PSU 31 ND 18

#16 PSU vs. Buffalo – Sept 15, 12pm, BTN – The Bulls managed a paltry two victories last season and one came in overtime against fellow cellar dweller, Temple. Likely the worst defense the Lions will face all year gave up 390 yds/game and 56 touchdowns a year ago. I expect the 2nd and 3rd teamers for the Lions to get significant playing time in this contest. The final will never be in doubt.

PSU 52 UB 3

#16 PSU @ #5 Michigan – Sept 22, TBA, ABC/ESPN – The Lions return to their personal house of horrors where even the invincible will of Michael Robinson bowed to the mighty Wolverines. PSU is 3-9 against Michigan since joining the Big10, losing the last 8 games in a row. Many are touting UM as a contender for the national championship, and they certainly have the weapons to be right there. The question mark remains the defense. A team that was exposed at the end of last season and lost three major playmakers in Lamar Woodley, Leon Hall and Alan Branch has large holes to fill. Linebacker Sean Crable is a beast, but can be contained. The game will be won or lost in the trenches were the Nit’s young defensive line will have to contend with a Wolverines offensive line that features future first round pick, Jake Long. PSU has chances late, but can’t dig out of the hole made during the first three quarters.

PSU 18 UM 24

#21 PSU @ Illinois – Sept 29, TBA (BTN likely) – The spunky Illni put a scare into the Lions last year at Beaver Stadium. Not the case this year. Even with all-everything QB Juice Williams and highly regarded freshman wideout Arrilious Benn, the Lions put the game away early in the 3rd quarter. Williams’ erratic nature and poor decision making won’t fair well against PSU’s ball-hawking secondary. The defense leads the charge by forcing three turnovers.

PSU 31 Ill 17

#18 PSU vs. Iowa – Oct 6, TBA (ESPN2 likely) – The Hawkeyes rotate back on to PSU’s schedule after two years away. They couldn’t have picked a worse time to be breaking in a new quarterback and new wide receivers. Iowa suffered through their worst season in some time winning only two conference games while posting embarrassing losses against Minnesota, Indiana and Northwestern. Expect a more cohesive and tough unit this year, but it’s still not enough to come into the Beav and walk out with a win. Kirk Ferentz has owned JoePa in recent years, but Joe gets back with a vengeance in 2007.

PSU 24 Iowa 13

#16 PSU vs. #4 Wisconsin – Oct 13, 3:30pm, ABC (Homecoming) – This is a game that will likely determine if the Nittany Lions are going to be BCS bowling or be headed back to Florida for another showdown with a mid-level SEC team. The Badgers far exceeded expectations a year ago by going 12-1 and beating Arkansas in the Capital One Bowl. They return 18 starters including RB sensation P.J. Hill who became the fifth Badger freshman to break the 1,000 yd mark. However, the players the lost will be difficult to replace. Offensive lineman Joe Thomas left as the #3 overall pick of the Cleveland Browns. UW also lost 3-year starting QB John Stocco. Though he leaves the reigns of the offense in the capable hands of 5th-year senior Tyler Donovan, he will be difficult to replace. If the Lions are able to shut down Hill, they should be able to come away with a victory. Expect this to be the most physical game the Lions play all season.

PSU 16 UW 13

#8 PSU @ Indiana – Oct 20, TBA (BTN likely) – The Hoosiers are back on the schedule after a two-year hiatus. Devastated by the loss of coach Terry Hoeppner to cancer, IU will have a tough time hitting it’s stride against the upper-tier of the Big10. The Hoosiers so some fight, but turnovers and lack of athletes show by mid-way through the 2nd half. Morelli puts up big numbers against an out-gunned secondary.

PSU 44 IU 20

#8 PSU vs. # 13 Ohio State – Oct 27, 8pm, ABC – This emerging rivalry often favors the home team, so it’s a good thing the game is in State College. The Buckeyes are coming off a run to the national championship game, but have major holes to fill. Gone are top offensive producers Troy Smith, Ted Ginn, Antonio Pittman and Anthony Gonzales. Significant losses on the DLine also leave much in doubt. By this point in the season, the Lion’s D will be clicking on all cylinders. Look for the front seven to harass yet another new QB coming into Beaver Stadium. If Penn State can keep stud RB Chris Wells in check, the Bucks will be in for a long night.

PSU 26 OSU 19

#6 PSU vs. Purdue – Nov 3, TBA (ESPN2/BTN) – Penn State shut down Purdue’s gimmick offense a year ago in West Lafayette. While they won’t earn a shutout, expect more of the same from the Lions. Meanwhile, the Boilermaker’s defense is simply terrible and gave up over 400 yds/game a season ago, ranking in the bottom 20 of the entire NCAA. After a tough end of September and October, this game is a nice start to the last month of the season. Look for Austin Scott to go over 1,000 yds for the season in this game.

PSU 38 Pur 14

#6 PSU @ Temple – Nov 10, TBA (BTN likely) – The Owls were Penn State’s second shutout victim a year ago. Unfortunately for Temple fans and coach Al Golden, 2007 holds more of the same. Temple will be a MAC team this year, but still have less than 4 wins to show for their move to a lower conference 3 years after getting kicked out of the Big East. Look for the Lions to score early and often in this game being played at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. It’s over by halftime and we all go to Atlantic City for strippers and blackjack.

PSU 52 Temple 9

#6 PSU @ Michigan State – Nov 17, TBA (ESPN/ESPN2 likely) – PSU rolls into East Lansing having taken the last three games from the Spartans in convincing fashion. Though new coach Mark Dantonio brings new enthusiasm to the MSU faithful, they simply lack the athletes to run with Penn State. This game will be closer than it should be, but the Lions wrap up their 2nd Big10 Conference title in 3 years by closing out Sparty late.

PSU 27 MSU 21

#6 PSU vs. #7 Auburn – Jan 2, 8pm, FOX – After tying with Wisconsin for the Big10 crown, PSU gets bumped out of the Rose Bowl to the desert to play the Auburn Tigers in the Fiesta Bowl. Penn State’s first trip to Arizona since thumping Tennessee in 1992 brings two teams with very similar make-ups. Both sport experienced, senior quarterbacks and both have athletic fast defenses. This one comes down to turnovers and the Lions prevail in that battle as they have all season. Justin King announces his early entry in the NFL draft days after the bowl.

PSU 28 AU 25

Final record: 12-1
Final ranking: #4

Break It Down: The 2007 Penn State Nittany Lions - Chapter 2

At least Drew Brees turned out to be a good NFL player!

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Editor's Note: Back by popular demand, the Craigmissioner is back with part deux of the PSU season preview. Once again, he's chasing down the scoop on our Nittany Lions, with today's piece focusing on the defense. Maybe one of these days he'll actually do a game-by-game break down like I asked him to do in the first place. Or maybe not! Enjoy.

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PSU Defensive Season Preview – By the Commander


Now that we’ve covered the offense surrounding Joe Paterno’s 42nd campaign, let’s have a look at the defense.

Tom Bradley has silenced critics that emerged during the dark years of Penn State and fielded his 3rd nasty defense in a row last season. This year figures to be more of the same with a unique combination of youth and experience highlighting this year’s unit.

Key losses: - Paul Posluzny, LB, 2nd round pick of the Buffalo Bills (34th overall) left dear old state as the all-time leader in tackles. He was a two-time All-American and the first junior captain at PSU since 1967. What he lacked in physical ability, he made up for with pure instincts and supreme football knowledge. It’s never easy to replace a player that will go down as a top 5 all-time linebacker at Linebacker U. Look for a three-way battle between RS Fr Navarro Bowman, RS So Jerome Hayes and RS Junior Tyrell Sales to fill the third LB position.

The Defensive Line: Jay Alford (3rd round pick, New York Giants); Tim Shaw (5th round pick, Carolina Panthers); and Ed Johnson anchored a line that finished second in the Big 10 in sacks and caused havoc for opposing QBs and RBs all season with 30 tackles-for-loss. All three will be difficult to replace.

Key Retunees: - Dan Connor, SR, MLB, will shift inside and take over for Posluzny. This is a similar move to Posluzny moving inside for ’06. The difference is Dan’s natural position is at the middle backer spot. Connor is only 98 tackles away from breaking Paul’s tackle record just a year later. Barring injury, he should easily pass it having amassed 113 stops in 2006. Look for Connor to be named a captain as one of only 5 seniors on the entire squad. He’s on the watch list for just about every major defensive award out there.

Sean Lee, JR, OLB, continues his own assault on the Penn State record books. He totaled 90 tackles as a sophomore and filled in admirably for an injured Posluzny in the 2006 Orange Bowl against Florida State. Lee is fast and aggressive and will be a force both rushing the passer and dropping into coverage. His one interception last year was a doozy, as he dove out of bounds to snare a ball and still kept both feet in play. Look for Lee to be all over the field this fall.

Maurice Evans, SO, DE, got a ton of PT last year as a freshman. Added weight and a non-stop motor will make him tough to stop. He anchors a defensive line fraught with massive talent and relatively little experience. The season could hinge on the young line’s ability to disrupt the QB. Expect major contributions from RS Jr Josh Gaines (DE) and sophomores Abe Koroma (DT); Phil Taylor (DT); Ollie Ogbu (DT); Jared Odrick (DT); Aaron Maybin (DE); and Tom McEowen (DT).

Nearly the entire secondary is back, highlighted by future 1st round draft pick Justin King. Though he only had one interception, King shut down three All-American receivers last year in Ted Ginn, Jr., Robert Meachem and Jeff Samardzija, allowing them each just over 39 yds/game. Along with King, cornerback Tony Davis returns and shifts to the safety position vacated by graduated Donnie Johnson. Sophomore AJ Wallace, an ace in the return game and explosive offensive threat takes over at left cornerback. Free Safety, Anthony Scirrotto returns a year after leading the Big 10 in interceptions with six. Though his future with the team is somewhat in question following an off-season, off-campus brawl, Scirotto will play until his legal status changes. His trial date is tentatively scheduled for October, though the Centre County DA has had trouble coming up with a solid case against Anthony. Cornerbacks Lydell Sergeant, Willie Harriot, Knowledge Timmons and Devin Fentress will vie for the nickelback role.

Defense returning starters: 6

Break It Down: The 2007 Penn State Nittany Lions - Chapter 1

The picture tells the joke for me! Thanks, picture!
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Disclaimer: This is the first of what I hope to be a series of guest posts here on Kissing Kerry Collins. Today we have the privilege of being walked through the upcoming Nittany Lions season. Well, the offense anyway. Your tour guide is the Commissioner himself, Herr Fritz. You better be standing and saluting.

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PSU Offensive Season Preview – By the Commander


Last year the Lions faced some tough sledding in losing to the all four marquee opponents on their schedule with tough road games at OSU, Wisc and ND. The team also got smacked at home by Michigan in a game that the score appeared much closer than the contest actually was.

A sign of promise came in the Outback Bowl where the Nits held Tennessee and their much ballyhooed QB, Erik Ainge in check for a solid bowl win and the 22nd of Paterno’s career.

The 2007 Lions return what may be their most athletic team this decade and what might be the best defensive back seven in the entire Big Ten. But first, a look at the offense.

Key Offensive Losses: Levi Brown, LT – 1st round pick (5th overall) of the Arizona Cardinals. Though Brown suffered through a knee injury and missed 2 games in ’06, he was an absolute road-block and protected Morelli’s blind side.

Tony Hunt, RB – 3rd round pick of the Philadelphia Eagles. Hunt finished his senior season as the 2nd leading career rusher in Penn State history. His bullish running style and quiet yeoman-like attitude earned him a sacred place in Nittany Lion lore. His 1,720 total yards and 14 total touchdowns will be difficult to replace.

Key Offensive Returnees: Anthony Morelli, QB – Morelli struggled with a TD/INT ratio of 14:8 and often looked lost behind a make-shift oline all season. His performance in the Outback Bowl and newly assumed leadership has him poised for a breakout season.

AQ Shipley, C – Shipley is a weight room beast and the anchor of an offensive line that promises more continuity than last season with 3 returning starters. Shipley is on the Rimington Trophy Watch List for the nation’s best center.

Andrew Quarless, TE – Quarless opened eyes as a true freshman with his ability to separate from often slower defenders and get open in the middle of the field. He caught two touchdowns as a freshman, one in the Outback Bowl. Expect big things from Quarless. He has the opportunity to be the best PSU tight end since Kyle Brady. Quarless is on the Mackey Award Watch List for the nation’s best tight end. Only 3 other sophomores are on the list.

Austin Scott, RB – Scott came to Penn State in 2003 with expectations higher than Willie Nelson. After spending time battling injuries, Paterno’s doghouse and a rarely seen senior year redshirt, Scott is poised to take over as the Lion’s leading rusher. Word from the scout team is Scott was the toughest runner the first team defense faced during the 2006 season. Look for a big year from him if he’s able to stay healthy. Senior Rodney Kinlaw and RS Freshman Evan Royster will see carries behind him.
ALL WRs - The entire wide receiving corps is back. Juniors Derrick Williams, Jordan Norwood and Deon Butler lead the way with 5th year senior and likely captain Terrell Golden helping out. Watch out for super sophomore Chris Bell who wowed fans at the Blue/White game. He’s big and fast and a great red-zone threat. Butler set Penn State’s single game receiving record last year against Northwestern.

Offense returning starters: 8

Break It Down: The 2007 Philadelphia Eagles

Walk it off, you queef.

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With half the "Get To Know A Leaguemate" posts completed, I thought we'd switch gears for a moment from fantasy football to real live football. We'll be taking a look at my one true love in this world, the Philadelphia Eagles, and take a stab at how this season might turn out for the Birds.
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To start, if I had to guess whether McNabb comes back and has a good, injury-free year, I'd lean towards him sucking it up, avoiding catastrophe, and having a pretty damn good year. I know a lot of that is left up to chance, but I believe the Kevin Kolb draft, plus the fact that the Eagles will likely not pay him after the 2008 season, makes me believe he has enough of a chip on his shoulder to play to prove to prospective employers that he still has the goods, and isn't an injury riddled disaster (see Culpepper, Daunte).

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Plus, Chase Utley's already on the DL, and contrary to all evidence otherwise, I just don't believe that God hates Philadelphia sports fans that much.

The defense looks good on paper, with names like Jevon Kearse, Brian Dawkins, and newcomer Takeo Spikes. Then again, it's not 2003, and all these guys will have to show they can bring it for this defense to be at its best, and give this team a shot to go deep into the playoffs.

Let's take a peek at the schedule and I'll gaze into my crystal ball for some Win-Loss projections.

Week 1: @ Packers - WIN. Great googly moogly, if there's one gimme road win on the schedule, it's this one. I'm actually in favor of sitting McNabb out of this one. Give Kolb the start. Let him get the rush of playing his first NFL game at Lambeau, give McNabb another week to rest, and give the fans a glimpse of what this kid has to offer. Like any Eagles fan ever watched a Houston Cougars game before. As a bonus, if Kolb stinks up the joint, he won't suffer the humiliation of being booed by the home fans.

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Week 2: vs. Redskins - WIN. I don't think there's much explaination needed here.

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Week 3: vs. Lions - WIN. I may take Angie to see the foliage this weekend instead of watching this one.

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Week 4: @ Giants - LOSS. I know. The Giants suck. But let's be honest, I can't see us at 4-0 at the bye week. No logic behind this pick, but I say we take one in the hindparts here and drop to 3-1.

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Week 5: BYE.

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Week 6: @ Jets - WIN. Do not adjust your TiVo. Two straight games at the Meadowlands. But we win this one. We always win after bye weeks.

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Week 7: vs. Bears - LOSS. Robbie Gould beats us at the buzzer. Asshole.

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Week 8: @ Vikings - WIN. Fun fact: The Vikings have a Viking guy blow into a giant Viking horn every time the Vikings get a first down. Second Fun fact: You won't hear that horn at all during this game. Third Fun fact: Beat them at their own game. Do a plastic trumpet beer bong every time the Eagles force the Vikings to punt.

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Week 9: vs. Cowboys - WIN. I'd sell 95% of my plasma to go to this game in person.

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Week 10: @ Redskins - WIN. I debated predicting that this would be the one week in every season where Santana Moss actually tries and goes off for 4 touchdowns, but the odds are so slim, we'll just pencil in a win.

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Week 11: vs. Dolphins - WIN. The old Ace Ventura Super Bowl rematch. Too bad the Dolphins suck now.

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Week 12: @ Patriots - LOSS. And a drubbing at that. I wish this weren't on the schedule. It's the Sunday Night game too.

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Week 13: vs. Seahawks - LOSS. And just like that, we've got a nifty little two-game losing streak going. Just like that, everybody hops off the bandwagon, and is calling for Andy Reid to get fired.

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Week 14: vs. Giants - WIN. Because we don't get swept by the Giants this year.

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Week 15: @ Cowboys - LOSS. Because we don't sweep the Cowboys this year.

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Week 16: @ Saints - LOSS. Can we pleeeeease stop making road trips to New Orleans? Pour yourself a nice tall hurricane before this game starts.

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Week 17: vs. Bills - WIN. Kevin Kolb gets win number 2 as an NFL starter!

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Final Record 10-6, NFC East Champions.

Any Steelers fans want to do the Pittsburgh post???? Anybody want to do the PSU post?