Sasquatch #5 will be enjoying the Golden Shower after this weekend.It's time for everybody's favorite "who's hot/who's not" look around the fantasy scene. Yes, boy howdy, it's Bajingos and Sasquatches! Let's take a glance and see who deserves accolades (that's good!) and who deserves admonishment (that's bad!)!!
.
BAJINGOS
1. The Peefaces That Are The Cincinnati Bengals Offense: Come ON!!!! Seven trips to the red zone, seven field goals. Not one lousy touchdown pass, not one lousy Carson Palmer QB sneak touchdown. Ugly. Shelby must have given Marvin Lewis one hell of a pregame beej.
2. Jamal Lewis: I'm guessing this isn't what Jamal had in mind for an encore to last week's 4 touchdown performance. 16 rushes for 35 yards. Putrid. Look, I know my glory days have come and gone as an athlete. Sad but true. But I'm pretty sure that if you gave me the ball 16 times in an NFL game, running behind an NFL line, I could average 2 yards a carry. I'd probably get a concussion or six, but that's beside the point. The point is, how does an NFL back get 35 yards on 16 carries?
3. LenDale White: Speaking of fat running backs, it's LenDale White!!! LenDale's stat line was actually worse than Jamal's: 8 carries for 12 yards. If I was a Titans coach, I'd have the grounds crew sprinkle the goal line with bacon bits just before kickoff. That way, LenDale would have extra motivation to get in the endzone.
Sidenote: I actually think the "LenDale White Is Fat!" jokes are stupid, and not that funny. But boy are they easy.
4. Adam Vinatieri - Any time you get a -1, you're a pretty good bet for Bajingo status. But miss a game winning 29 yarder despite being hailed as the most clutch kicker in the NFL and you're a mortal lock. Awful day for Adam and the Colts.
5. Philip Rivers - My. God. This guy is terrible. I know he occasionally gets his stats here and there. And yes, he's still ranked 16th among QB's. But he looked like a rookie Sunday against the Colts. He's lost TEN fumbles this year! TEN!!!! To put that in perspective, Steve McNair has eight. Donovan McNabb has six. How this guy still has a starting QB job is beyond me.
2. Jamal Lewis: I'm guessing this isn't what Jamal had in mind for an encore to last week's 4 touchdown performance. 16 rushes for 35 yards. Putrid. Look, I know my glory days have come and gone as an athlete. Sad but true. But I'm pretty sure that if you gave me the ball 16 times in an NFL game, running behind an NFL line, I could average 2 yards a carry. I'd probably get a concussion or six, but that's beside the point. The point is, how does an NFL back get 35 yards on 16 carries?
3. LenDale White: Speaking of fat running backs, it's LenDale White!!! LenDale's stat line was actually worse than Jamal's: 8 carries for 12 yards. If I was a Titans coach, I'd have the grounds crew sprinkle the goal line with bacon bits just before kickoff. That way, LenDale would have extra motivation to get in the endzone.
Sidenote: I actually think the "LenDale White Is Fat!" jokes are stupid, and not that funny. But boy are they easy.
4. Adam Vinatieri - Any time you get a -1, you're a pretty good bet for Bajingo status. But miss a game winning 29 yarder despite being hailed as the most clutch kicker in the NFL and you're a mortal lock. Awful day for Adam and the Colts.
5. Philip Rivers - My. God. This guy is terrible. I know he occasionally gets his stats here and there. And yes, he's still ranked 16th among QB's. But he looked like a rookie Sunday against the Colts. He's lost TEN fumbles this year! TEN!!!! To put that in perspective, Steve McNair has eight. Donovan McNabb has six. How this guy still has a starting QB job is beyond me.
SASQUATCHES
1. The Juggernaut That Is The Cincinnati Bengals Defense: Look, I realize that any defense squaring up against the Baltimore Ravens offense is probably in for a good day. But on the other hand, any offense lining up across from the fellas in Orange and Black practically starts the game with 14 points. It's your classic Resistable-Force-Meets-Movable-Object. Well, anyway, the Bengals slapped together a near-shutout and pressured Steve McNair into countless mistakes, totalling six takeaways on the day.
2. Brian Westbrook: B West had the best day of any running back, scoring on his trademark shovel pass, a nifty catch and run that went for a long score, and a walk-in touchdown that sealed the game for the Birds. All in all, Westbrook accounted for 183 yards and 3 touchdowns. Best of all, he's restored my faith in the Eagles, who I've now made my Week 11 Suicide Pick.
3. Jeremy Shockey: Good Lord, do I hate Shockey. But watching the Dallas-Giants game on Sunday afternoon, I couldn't help but be impressed. The guy was absolutely everywhere: 12 catches for 129 yards and a score.
4. Tony Romo: On the other sideline, of course, was another fantasy points machine. Romo had his second 4 passing TD game of the season (both against NYG), on 20 of 28 for 247 yards. I feel kind of horrible for saying this, but Romo's actually kind of a likeable guy (as opposed to J-Shock). Although I was rooting for the Giants in this one (or a terrorist attack), it was hard not to be impressed with Romo's effort. I'm actually terrified to watch him carve up the Eagles twice a year for the next six.
5. The Canadian Cripplers: Do the math. Shawn has just clinched a playoff spot. He's up 4 games on the 9th place team with 3 left to play. Congratulations to our only 8-2 squad. Now that you clinched, I say it's time to rest your starters for the playoffs. Feel free to start all your bench players. In fact, do it this week. I'm sure whoever you're playing this week will be okay with it.
1 comment:
Look for B-West to have another huge game against the 'phins!
Death Knell is coming for your soulz, all the way to the playoffs BABY!!!
Post a Comment