Grade The Trade: 9/20/07

Adam takes a dump all over the rest of the league with this ridiculous trade.

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BREAKING: Adam Davis and Paul Davis (Hmmm...that's weird, they have the same last name) announce a 4 player deal. The trade will send Peyton Manning to Paul, who sends Cadillac Williams, LaMont Jordan, and Jason Campbell to Adam.
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From Paul's Perspective: Let me get this straight. You trade three of your backups for the best quarterback ever to play the game. OK, I think we're done here. But just in case we're not, let's dig into this one a little bit. The fact that Paul traded Cadillac Williams (6th round, 70th overall), LaMont Jordan (9th round, 99th overall), and Jason Campell (13th round, 147th overall) for Peyton Manning (1st round, 8th overall) is CRIMINAL. If these two had announced before the draft that Adam was giving his 1st Round Pick to Paul for his 6th, 9th, and 13th, we would have rioted. So what's the difference 2 weeks into the season? If this trade does hold up (and I hope it doesn't...), Slimmy now adresses his one major weakness, Philip Rivers at QB. His team now starts Manning, LJ, Portis, The Bengal Twins, and Andre Johnson (when healthy). Simply put, I and 9 other of my leaguemates will be dancing in the streets if LJ blows out an ACL.
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From Adam's Perspective: I honestly have no idea where to start. Idiotic is the first word that comes to mind. Conspiracy is the second. What the eff? You really just traded your first pick of the draft for two running backs who WERE THE BIGGEST BUSTS IN FANTASY LAST SEASON and a throw-in black quarterback. Honestly, were any two running backs more disappointing last year than Caddy and LaMont? (Ok, Ronnie Brown, you can put your hand down...I'm trying to prove a point...) What makes you think this year will be any different? The first two weeks of the season? Here's a fact: Dominic Rhodes is back in two games, so LaMont Jordan is going to take another nosedive. Cadillac Williams doubled his 2006 touchdown total in last week's game. He's not a 10 touchdown guy! He's a 5 touchdown guy maybe. You can say that Jeff Garcia is moving the offense more effectively than Gradkowski did last year, but a tiger can't change his stripes. Caddy's not the kind of reward you'd expect to get back for trading the BEST QB EVER. Listen, I know I made fun of your backfield last week. Musa Smith and Chester Taylor can make a man do strange things, I get it. But flushing your season down the toilet so you can pick up two middle-of-the-pack running backs is stupid. You should have rested on your laurels, waited for another shitty week out of Brees, Bulger or McNabb, and pounced. You want to know how many guys are 100% happy with their current QB situation? Here's the list: You, Me, Rich. The. End. There are 9 other owners who are probably having some second thoughts about taking the wrong guy. So what do you do? You completely puss out and trade with your brother. Gay. I'm mailing Anthrax to the three guys you're getting in this trade. You don't deserve anything in return. You pussed out. You could have traded with Craig! You know, the guy with Vince Young and three of the best receivers in football? I just think you took the easy way out. I would have felt much better about this if there was at least a major family holiday that just happened. If this were Thanksgiving, I could tell myself, "Oh, Adam just drank too much and ate too much turkey. He probably got a little woozy and Slimmy talked him into a trade that a five year old would have turned down...Ah, well, boys will be boys!!" But no. You gave away Peyton Manning for three guys most teams could have found in their couch cushions. You suck. Faggot.

The Winner: Paul Davis by Technical Knockout

By the way, I had a good bit of Crown before I wrote this. So you can ignore the faggot line. The rest of it I'm pretty sure I'd admit to when sober.