MMSY: 10/29/07

Feel the excitement! It's the Colts! It's the Pats! It's .... NEXXXXT!!!

5 Things I Think I Thought That Were

1. I think the best part about the Penn State/Ohio State "game" was the sign shown during ESPN College Gameday: "Finkel Is Einhorn." Simple. Short. Absolute genius. I've got more venom coming on that PSU effort in a bit.

2. I think that the hype meter might implode this week with the build up to Indianapolis/New England this coming weekend. I get it, I do.

This is going to be a terrific game between two teams that, clearly, are head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. I also know that Tony Dungy has overcome severe personal tragedy to reach gigantic professional heights, all while helping folks along the way in a spiritual and motivational manner. That Bill Belichick still faces scrutiny over the camera thingy and wants to prove to the world that his team doesn't need to cheat to dominate. That the Patriots have old, yet wily linebackers. That the Colts are being viewed as "under the radar." That Bob Sanders is the straw that stirs the Colts defense. That Tom Brady is trying to not only take revenge on the Colts for their 2006 playoff demise, but also is trying to forcibly suffocate that single-season touchdown record that Peyton holds. Oh, and eff as many models as he can in a calendar year, too.

(Still with me? I've got tons of new angles that haven't been covered yet... OK, I'll stop).

3. I think that, since no one else seemed to give a damn about Hefty's 76ers post on Friday, that I'll chime in: OJ Mayo will not help this franchise. I don't buy, right now, that he's the best player for them (anybody think a legit center might help? Or better yet, the power forward that hasn't been present since Sir Charles came out to the desert in 1993? I loved Tyrone Hill and Charles Shackleford, but ... yeah.) In fact, I don't even buy that Mayo is the best of the one-year-and-done college kids (Kevin Love at UCLA; Eric Gordon at Indiana). Plus, Mayo has a stink-ass attitude. I say stay away from him.

Plus, we know this draft speculation will be rendered completely moot when they reel off a flurry of wins at the end of the season to sneak into the playoffs and promptly get jackhammered by the top seed.

4. I think that Hollywoodland is an excellent film. Stars Adrien Brody, Ben Affleck, Diane Lane and that guy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? A taught (like a tiger) thriller about the mysterious death of 1950s television star George "Superman" Reeves. Mixed in is some humor and multiple (repeat: MULTIPLE) bare rear-end shots of Mr. Affleck. Fantastic stuff.

5. I think that my rant from the Michigan game, sadly, applies here again. It's almost becoming routine, this strategy where the coaching staff tries to minimize the team's mistakes by doing things that simply cannot help your team win:
a. Not blitzing a first-year starter making his biggest start of his career on the road. The two times (seriously, someone tell me if you counted more) that Penn State blitzed, they resulted in Dan Connor's interception and a Navarro Bowman sack.
b. Not throwing the ball downfield. My dad made a great observation in that, once we scored on that opening drive by running the ball very effectively, the gameplan got shifted to an extreme focus on the run. And it didn't work.
c. Keeping Andrew Quarless in to block rather than using his 6'5, 250-lb. frame in the passing game down the middle. If I, sitting in a crowded PSU alumni sports bar, can spot that every time Quarless tapped Morelli's ass that they would be running to the left of the line, well I'm just kinda sorta sure Ohio State figured it out.
d. That cowardly decision to punt when it was 4-and-2 at the Ohio State 38-yard-line. Change your diaper, Joe Pa.
e. Don't even get me started on the mandatory 15-yard cushion our defensive backs are instructed to give every receiver. It's a joke.

Orange Juice, Mayonnaise Sales Skyrocket In Eastern PA

The Sixers could suck hard enough to grab a Top 3 pick in this year's draft.

The NBA tips off in just 4 days, and if you're like me, you probably enjoy the first week or two of hoops season, then you go back to football, you pick up your ears again around the All-Star Game, and then you give it moderate attention until the playoffs start.

I enjoy the NBA but I never get particularly excited or upset about it. I mainly just like watching 7 foot African American men interacting with Eastern Europeans who probably smell like sweat-soaked borscht. It's fun. Well, there are two times in the year when the NBA has my full time attention. The first is the trade deadline. The second is the draft. For some reason, both of these events suck me in like a tractor beam every year. I also like to critique various teams' moves and lack of moves, as if I have any expertise whatsoever on the teams. I normally wouldn't be able to tell you a thing about Boris Diaw, but if his name is heavily involved in trade rumors, I'm all over it.

And the draft is even better. I'll make it my job to become an expert on every first round prospect, and then make important sounding comments about them as the draft unfolds. The night usually ends with me making a phone call to my dad and complaining about something I think the Sixers did wrong. Basically it's exactly what Bill Simmons does.

But this year's draft could be even more important. The Sixers might blow harder than any other team in the NBA, and be rewarded with a Top-3 pick for their buffoonery. There's a preview up on ESPN.com in which almost everybody picks them to finish last in the Eastern Conference, which is akin to calling somebody the biggest fag in Rehoboth.

And while there's still a looooong way to go until something like this pops up again on my radar, for today, I'm already thinking about the 2008 Sixers trotting out the #1 pick, OJ Mayo.