Week 4 Photo Finish: Family Fun Time!!

Aaron finally has all the necessary components to re-create this picture!

Aaron got the gift of a healthy baby boy this weekend. Will he also get the gift of a Week 4 PHOTO FINISH WIN? He's down to only Dallas Clark, and he'll need 15.5 points to overtake Shawn. Well all know by now that the Colts are low-octane on offense, and with Curtis Painter making his first ever NFL start, they'll probably be even worse than the first 3 weeks.

HOWEVA, I'm a huge believer in the "young QBs love throwing to tight ends as a security blanket" theorem. Subscribing to such a theorem, I'll say Clark does indeed get a touchdown tonight. So there's 6 points right off the top. That leaves 9 points to close the gap. In that case, 6 catches for 65 yards would do it. I think that's realistic for one of the game's best tight ends. In our first somewhat shocking Monday Night finish of the season, Aaron leapfrogs Shawn for the win.

Week 3 Photo Finishes: BOO THIS MAN!

And STAY DOWN!

27.7 points. That's all it would take for Mike to leapfrog Aaron tonight and pick up win #1. His sole representative is Santana Moss, long time boil on the asscheek of The Heftington Post. Rationally or not, I despise this man. If you're keeping track on your Heftington Post Haterometer, he's juuuuust a notch to the right of Cedric Benson and his cloven hoofs, so close to Steve Smith he can practically taste his B.O., and about 1000 spots to the left of St. Matthew of Stafford.

This week, only 3 receivers went over 27.7. Wes Welker (45.6 pts) was one. The other two were future Hall of Famers Torrey Smith (41.7) and Victor Cruz (28.5). The odds are certainly long. The Cowboys are vulnerable against the pass, but 27.7 is a big number. Like either 2 TD's or 175 yards big. I could see Moss breaking free for a long touchdown, but he's not a volume guy. He's a big play fluke guy. My guess, Moss plays just well enough to nab Mike another Golden Dong trophy, but not overtake Aaron.

Week 2 Photo Finishes: Now With 50% Less Drama!

Pictured: The only way Rich can lose tonight.

Well this week's Photo Finish column is even easier to write than last week's, so let's knock it out.

Shelby, Davis and Mr. X have all clinched a win.

Craig beat Melvin unless Ahmad Bradshaw has a 44 point game in store for Melvin tonight, which is really just a longer way of saying Craig beat Melvin.

Aaron holds on over Jordan, who is down 35 points with only the Giants D/ST left in the tank.

The only whiff of suspense comes from our most ethnically diverse matchup, between Rich and Shawn. Rich is up by 4.5 points and has Hakeem Nicks and Brandon Gibson playing tonight. Shawn is down to only his kicker, Josh Brown. Really the only way there'd be any drama here is if Nicks wasn't playing (he's currently listed as Questionable), but all indications this morning are that he's a go. Two catches and 35 yards or so from Nicks should be enough to put this one out of range for a kicker to make up the difference. Rich cruises comfortably tonight.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'm not doing Power Rankings every week (obviously), but after Week 2 seems like a good time to take the league's temperature. I'll try to get something up by mid-week. If you bozos want to make any trades, I'd be more than willing to grade those for you as well. That's my new thing now, I'm calling everybody bozo.

Week 1 Photo Finishes: Not A Lot of Mystery

Jordan has a raging clue right now.

Well, we have the rare blessing of two Monday Night games, but they don't carry a lot of intrigue with them as it relates to our Week 1 matchups. We can safely declare the following winners: Ryan, Davis, and Deewaan.

Shelby is also a lock despite currently being down 10 points to Aaron. He has Brady and Aaron Hernandez tonight while Aaron is out of bullets. Luckily for Aaron, Brady failed to reach double digits one time last year. Luckily for Shelby, it was his bye week.

Craig and Rich have a couple of wide receivers yet to go and a deadlock, but Rich's guys (Brandon Lloyd and Chad Ochocinco) are both better on their own than Craig's Jacoby Ford. The fact that it's two on one, and I think Rich ends up winning by 10 or more tonight.

I was also ready to write off Jordan (down 27 points, only Darren McFadden to play) entirely in his game against Shawn (BenJarvusGreenEllis), until I saw how many fantasy points McFadden had in last year's game against Denver, 48.6. While that's certainly reason for Jordan to have hope, I would expect Green-Ellis to be a factor at the goal line even if he doesn't see the bulk of the carries for New England tonight. Shawn will walk away from this one 1-0, but I think McFadden makes things interesting in the nightcap.

Photo Finish!

There's only one game in the Championship Bracket that hasn't been decided!!

Rich (+15) vs. Craig (Steve Smith, DeAngelo Williams) - In any normal week, I'd say this is a slam dunk for Colon Blow. Combined, Smith and Williams are averaging 29 points/week. However, this game is against their nemesis and defensive stalwart, Tampa Bay. In the teams' earlier meeting, Smith and Williams combined for only 18 points. Smith is the same as he was then, but Williams has seen his role increase, especially around the goal line. All I can say is the Colts D was the waiver-wire pick up of the week and maybe the year!
Prediction:
Smith and Williams combine for 20 and Colon Blow advances.

Week 12: Photo Finishes

"Tight races + playoff implications = dirty shorts"

There are a few games yet to be decided in this the penultimate week of our fantasy regular season. Hearts will be broken, dreams will be realized and hopefully we'll all get to see a game worthy of avoiding the new episode of Prison Break.

Jonesy (+21.1) vs. Melvin (Reggie Bush) - Will he play, will he sit? Apparently, he's in, maybe. Regardless, I don't see Reggie having a big enough impact to tip the scales in Melvin's favor.
Prediction: Jonesy holds on and creeps towards a playoff birth. Who knew?!

Adam (+14.3, Marques Colston) vs. Mike (Drew Brees, Donald Driver) - Colston and Brees kinda cancel each other out, at least for TDs. Mike needs the Saint's QB to throw darts to everyone except Colston.
Prediction: Mike wins on the strength of Brees spreading it around.

Craig (+6, Greg Jennings, Ryan Grant) vs. Shawn (Aaron Rodgers) - The same thing for canceling each other out can be said for Jennings and Rodgers. Blow needs a big day from Grant to seal the deal.
Prediction: Craig hangs on and clinches a playoff berth.

Week 10: Photo Finishes

"Melvin in lane 2 and Rich in lane 5 pull ahead of the competition!"

There are a couple games that won't be decided until the smoke has cleared at the University of Phoenix Stadium tonight. Let's see who's walking away with a W.

Shelby (+4.1, Frank Gore) vs. Melvin (Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald) - This one is pretty simple from where I stand. Frank Gore puts up about 16 points a game. Warner and Fitzgerald combine for about 40 points every week.
Prediction: Melvin wins to take over the #1 spot.

Rich (+29.6) vs. Aaron (Anquan Boldin) - Boldin's best week of the year is 39 points against the Dolphins in week 2. Since then he's had plates put in his face to he could be more like Wolverine. He'll need the same effort to help Aaron stop Rich from going to 6-4.
Prediction: Rich hangs on to solidify the #5 spot.

Photo Finishes: Week 9

"ALSAP - We put the 'wing' in swing-vote!!"

Below are the games coming down to the wire on this election-eve. An interesting note is that over the last 17 presidential elections, a Redskins victory in the game prior to the election means that the party that won the previous popular vote won the election. If the Redskins lost, the party that lost the previous popular vote won the election. If history holds true, Redskins win=McCain, Steelers win=Obama.

Dave (+8.2, Santana Moss, Shawn Suisham) vs. Aaron (Big Ben, Clinton Portis). Let's make this quick. Big Ben and Portis combine for over 20 points in their sleep. Dave needs big time connections from Campbell to Moss.
Prediction: Aaron wins his 2nd in a row!

Mike (+7.7) vs. Shelby (Santonio Holmes, Steelers D)
Prediction: Shelby wins easy.

Davis (+2.9) vs. Rich (Hines Ward). There's a chance Ward will be shutout, but I seriously doubt it. He needs 2 receptions for 20 yards to win it for Rich.
Prediction: Rich sends Davis further into Playoff purgitory.

Week 8: Photo Finishes

We're baaaack! After 3 weeks of ridiculous work loads and general apathy towards anything else, the writer(s) of ALSAP are back to bring you down the stretch of the last 8 weeks of fantasy football fun!! Let's kick things off with some tight games that will be hashed out during MNF in Tennessee tonight!

Jordan (+14.8, Dominic Rhodes) vs. Mike (Chris Johnson, Titan's D) - Not many teams have been able to run on the Titans this year. In fact, they're giving up only 90 yards a game on the ground. That's tough sledding for a Indianapolis team that has had O-line issues all season. Conversely, the Colts rank 29th in the NFL at stopping the run. Look for big doses of Johnson and fatty LenDale White so they don't have to rely on Kerry Collins. Though the Titans D has scored massive points this year, the Colts usually take care of the ball. Jordan needs a TD from Rhodes and this one is all but over.
Prediction: Jordan squeaks it out.

Jonesy (+32.6) vs. Rich (Reggie Wayne, LenDale White) - Can Jonesy weather the storm? White had 3 TDs a week ago against the hapless Chiefs. Will Wayne have a big game or will Marvin Harrison steal the show on national television? His 3 points against the Packers last week is cause for concern.
Prediction: Rich gets close, but Jonesy pulls in his third victory of the year.

Aaron (+4.9, Dallas Clark) vs. Adam (Bo Scaife) - Oh how I've yearned for a battle of tight ends all season!! Both Clark and Scaife have been inconsistent scoring anywhere between 0.5 and 14 points. Who will make the big catch and propell their fantasy owner to victory? Probably Aaron will be the only one that knows since Adam will be watching WS game 5.
Prediction: Aaron gets by on the strength of a Clark TD and picks up his first victory.

Shawn (+10.6) vs. Hefty (Rob Bironas) - Fun with kickers! Yay. They're usually worthless and don't make a difference. But when Josh Reed, Jason Witten and Michael Turner combine for 7.5 points, you need a big day from your placekicker. Bironas has crossed the 11 point threshold only twice this season. He'll need at least 3 field goals to get it done.
Prediction: Shawn wins as Big Leg Rob misses a 50+ yarder to win it for the Titans and for Hefty.