Phitin Phillies Phlayoff Phever: NLDS Game 3

Is Saturday the day J-Roll and the rest of the Phils take the knockout blow?

Editor's Note: This is Part 3 of what very well may be a 3 Part Series. If that's the case, I'd like to personally thank Richard for making this blog a place where baseball neophytes like me can get some insight on the games before they happen. Nice work.

I don’t even know what to say. Hindsight is 20/20, but you have to wonder if Kendrick would have gotten that last out. 66 pitches? Give me a break! But… if Lohse does his job, there would be no discussion. Now we’re hanging on by our fingertips AND going to Colorado.

I hear Denver is a nice place. I’ve never been there, but I have heard tales of adventure and wonderment from those who have had the opportunity to peruse the Mile-High City’s streets. I thought it might be helpful to compile a list of things to do for our spiraling Phillies, because they most likely won’t show up to play baseball.

1. The Loft – Who knows if the strapping bucks Brett Myers and Chase Utley can survive a night away from their hometown hotties. One of Denver’s first nightclubs, the Loft will provide these boys a chance to shine off the field. They might not be able to win a baseball game, but surely they’ll be able to chauffeur a groupie or two back to the hotel before the night is over.
2. Elitch Gardens – A popular amusement park located 5 minutes from downtown, Elitch Gardens would be the perfect place for Coach Charlie to take his rookies. Sometimes, you just gotta let your kids play (pitch!) Manuel, at least give them a chance! Its not like many of your older boys played in any postseason games... Ruiz, Kendrick, and Bourn will definitely love the 40+ rides – don’t miss the Looney Tunes playland!
3. After the amusement park, why not stop by the Denver Firefighters Museum at Tremont Place. Its located in the historic Denver Fire Station No. 1, and admit it, you could use the training. The Rockies are on fire and the Phils are smoldering!
4. Finally, stop by Church’s Chicken on Colorado Blvd for some of Denver’s best Fried Chicken and Honey Butter Biscuits… cause hey, its seems like Alfonseca and Gordon would enjoy a place like this. That’s what someone told me at least.

SATURDAY, 9:30 PM, COORS FIELD:
Matchup: Jamie Moyer (LHP, 44 years old) vs. Ubaldo Jiminez (RHP, 4.28 ERA)

Analysis: Well, down 2 games to nil, playing on the road, and still searching for a solution to the Rockies’ bats (see Firefighter’s Museum above), the outlook is grim for the Phillies. Moyer had a strong outing versus Washington to close the season, but it was Washington. Jimenez has been hit or miss (kinda sounds funny when you say it), but it shouldn’t take much to hold the Phils to a single-digit score, which should be sufficient to earn his team the win. I hate to pick against my team, but we have absolutely NOTHING in our favor here. Its win or go home time. Thanks for the exciting finish Phils, but we’re going back to football – at least the Birds and Nittany Lions have a flicker of hope left…

Final Score: Rockies 9, Phillies 4 -- PROVE ME WRONG!!

Phitin Philies Phlayoff Phever: NLDS Game 2

(Insert DK joke here)

Well, though my prediction was off, I was right about one thing… Game 1 would be a low scoring pitchers duel. Hamels made a few mistakes in the second inning, but was lights out afterwards, retiring 13 consecutive batters. Francis stepped it up, and was helped by an atrocious Phillies lineup.

We should expect similar conditions with Thursday’s sunny forecast, and strikeouts, though not as abundant as in Game 1, should be more plentiful than expected from the young starters. Hopefully, DK talks some sense into her boy Chase before the game. He looked scared and confused, similar to Jordan’s reaction when he crashed the Shelby-Amber Nude Tickle Wrestling Match.

Melvin, please be in the front row Thursday because there is nothing that would make me happier than to replace the image of your patriotic midriff with one of your smiling face.

THURSDAY, 3PM, CITIZENS BANK PARK:
Matchup: Franklin Morales (LHP, 3.43 ERA) vs. Kyle Kendrick (RHP, 3.87 ERA)

Analysis: Good thing Cablevision brought us TBS in High Def hours before game 1. That way I could get a detailed view of Utley striking out FOUR times on THIRTEEN pitches. The line for the first four Philly hitters: 0-15, 9K. This lineup is too good for embarrassing stats like that to continue. They’re not the Pirates for goodness sake! With both teams starting rookie pitchers, it will really come down to which one has more poise under the postseason pressure. Kendrick definitely has the advantage with the game on his home turf.

I have an uneasy feeling about Game 2, but that is only because I watched Game 1 and saw how disgusting our “most runs in the league” lineup looked. Bwwaahhhh!!!! The Phils need to escape PA with a win if they want to have any kind of chance of advancing. Howard went 1 game without a HR… unacceptable! He goes yard Thursday in a close one.

Final Score: Phils 7, Rocks 6.

Phitin' Phillies Phlayoff Phever!

When Rich Ely speaks, you'd best take off them earmuffs.

Editor's Note: The Chumley awards will be handed out tomorrow. In the meantime, I'd like to pull back the curtain on a brand new featurette here on ALSAP!!, entitled Phitin' Phillies Phlayoff Phever! Since I know nothing about the MLB as an entity, but enjoy the sucess of the local squad, I thought we should cover this topic, yet deemed myself incapable. So, pinch hitting for me on this column is our resident baseball guru and Phils fan, Rich Ely. His words are as follows. This featurette will continue only as long as the Phillies do; so please root, root, root for the home team. If they don't win...well I kind of figured they wouldn't.
Take it away, Rich!

E-A-G-L-E-S- Phillies?!?!

You heard it right, pee faces. April is finally here and that means its time to kick of a brand spanking new season of America’s favorite pastime… what? It’s not April? What? Baseball isn’t America’s favorite pastime? In fact, it ranks somewhere between Seinfeld re-runs and Dangling Ding Dongs on the Delaware shores? Really, you say?

Our beloved city, best known for its cheesy meats (no, I’m not making fun of any of the league member’s members) and year-after-year *insert sport here* underperformances has finally brought October baseball back, in dramatic fashion. 2007 - the season that has all the championship-ly challenged Phanatics in Philly asking each other, “Have you seen my baseball?” - has the potential to bring the city more baseball wins than football wins in October. It’s like something that tastes bitter and sweet in your mouth at the same time. Yummy.

Well, enough is enough. Moyer isn’t getting any younger. Lets move on to a game 1 preview.

WEDNESDAY, 3 PM, CITIZENS BANK PARK:
Matchup: Jeff Francis (LHP, 4.22 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (LHP, 3.39 ERA)

Analysis: Yes, the Rockies have been the hottest in the majors, and although Francis leads the team in wins, his was anything but hot in his last 6 outings recording 3 losses and posting a 5.38 ERA. In his last start against the Phils in mid-September, he lasted only 3.1 innings and yielded 8 runs on 8 hits. Hamels, on the other hand, is one of the League’s premier southpaws and boasts a changeup that would break most of our manly backs. He spent some time on the DL during the end of August and beginning of September, but he looks as strong as ever, winning his last start in the crucial final days of the season while recording 13 K’s. Rollins, Utley, Howard, and Rowand match up pretty evenly with Matsui, Tulowitzki, Holliday, and Helton at this point in the season. We all know these teams can hit… so it’s going to come down to pitching in this one – and the Rockies used 10 of their hurlers on Monday night.

Unlike Peavy, Hamels will baffle Colorado’s lineup and tap the Rockies with an avalanche-mix of pitch speeds. Myers puts runners on in the 9th, but ultimately the extra rest pays off, and the Phils put a frost-brewed liner on the Rockies hot streak. Does anyone else feel like enjoying a cheap beer right now?

Final Score: Phils 5, Rocks 3.