Week 2 Power Rankings: Premature Congratulations

If you want this kid's trophy, you'll have to pry it out of his cold, dead, juvenile diabetic hands.

Look, we're two weeks in. We may think we know how this season's panning out, but really, it's two weeks. As defending league champion Mr. X reminded me, two years ago he started out 2-0 and went 1-11 over the final 11 weeks. It's early. In fact, in the interest of keeping this purposely muddled and brief, we're doing only one or two lines of commentary for each team.

1. Adam (2-0, 316.8 pts)

2. Shelby (2-0, 348.7 pts)

I give Adam a nod because Brady isn't a huge advantage over Brees, but Ray Rice certainly is over Peyton Hillis. Besides, Shelby's team has been hit HARD by the injury bug (Austin, Manningham, Aaron Hernandez) and I see him struggling a little for the next week or two.

3. Aaron (1-1, 243.1)

4. Jordan (0-2, 246.6)

Take your pick, but both teams have dynamic duos at running back (Peterson and Forte, McCoy and McFadden), but I give the nod to the team with the proven QB that's underachieving (Roethlisberger) instead of the overachieving rookie (Cam Newton).

5. Craig (1-1, 270.3)

By the way, your 2011 Keynote Speakers at the Overachievement Conference: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jahvid Best, and Fred Jackson. Double down on those Bills, Craigger!

6. Ryan (2-0, 259.8)

The defending champ is 2-0, which is probably all the reason I need to give for putting him in the top half of the rankings.

7. Dave (1-1, 253.6)

8. Mike (0-2, 245.4)

Love Dave's Megatron-Welker-Mike Williams troika. That's enough to get the edge over Mike's squad, which has a few more question marks as I see it.

9. Melvin (0-2, 210.1)

This team could make some noise, it's just waiting for Chris Johnson to break out of hibernation.

10. Rich (2-0, 210.2)

He's won the "Winning By The Skin Of Your Ballbag" award PRESENTED BY GMC, twice already. He isn't scoring but neither are his opponents. Irony Dept: Chad Ochocinco is currently 85th in WR scoring.

11. Shawn (1-1, 208.6)

I still say Flacco dooms this team. Shawn has some sleeping giants at WR though.

12. Hefty (0-2, 206.7)

I call shenanigans on Katy Perry. I really don't think she's the type of girl who's having casual group sex, getting blackout drunk, and committing arrestable crimes on a weekly basis. Oh, and my team blows by the way.