The State of Penn State - A Season Preview

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Everyone's favorite Nittany Lions are back in action on Saturdays throughout the fall. Since we've all been itching for a taste of football, allow the commish to walk you through this season, Happy Valley style.

EDIT: Watch out for a breaking story in which 4 important players were held out of practice yesterday due to a party and minor drug violation. If anyone is kicked off the team, it could hold serious repercussions for the rest of the season, especially on defense.

Key Offensive Returnees: The WR Smurfs (Williams, Butler, Norwood); RB Evan Royster (over 6 yds/carry in limited play last year); the ENTIRE o-line anchored by senior C AQ Shipley.

Key Defensive Returnees: DE Maurice Evans (12.5 sacks in 2007); S Anthony Scirrotto; DT's Jared Odrick and Abe Koroma

Key Losses: RB Rodney Kinlaw, DTs Chris Baker and Phil Taylor (suspension led to transfers); CB Justin King; WR Chris Bell (highly-touted, underperforming, pulled a knife on a teammate during the off season); LB Sean Lee (out for the year with torn ACL); DT Devon Still (out for the year with broken ankle)

Key Newcomers: RB Stephon Green (redshirt freshman runs a reported 4.25/40 and is from JoePa's hood, Brooklyn); QBs Daryll Clark and Pat Devlin (a reported fierce battle this preseason led to Clark being named the starter but Devlin assured playing time);

Schedule – Outlook - Predictions:

Aug 30 – Coastal Carolina – 12pm – Big Ten Network

Outlook: Let's be serious. This is a joke of a game against a school that has only played football since 2002. Further review shows that this D1-AA institution employs an athletics director who went to Penn State and played for Paterno. This is a money grab and little else. It will tell us nothing about the team. Hopefully Clark and Devlin both get good minutes and no one gets hurt.

Prediction: PSU 56 CC 6 - Actual: PSU 66 CC 10

Sept 6 – Oregon State – 3:30pm – ABC Regional

Outlook: The Beavers make a visit to Beaver Stadium. Children cry, women scream, the world implodes and men everywhere chuckle. The game should NOT be close, but it will be due to inexplicable play calling by the dunce of an offensive coordinator known as Jay Paterno. The Beavers are breaking in an entirely new front 7. They have a decent secondary and some talent at the wideout position. Their QB play last year made Anthony Morrelli look like a Heisman winner and they lost their #1 RB to the draft. We should be able to run at will, but JayPa will figure out a way to leave our defense on the field much longer than they should be.

Prediction: PSU 34 OrSU 23

Sept 13 - @ Syracuse – 3:30pm – ABC Regional

Outlook: It's a good thing I'm writing this now, but cause I'll probably be too drunk to remember actually attending this game. This SHOULD be a slam dunk. Just like in 2005 when Penn State went on the road to Northwestern, right? RIGHT?! No, it won't be like that. After a sluggish first half, the Lions dominate the trenches and run for almost 400 yards. Greg Robinson crawls into the nearest bottle of scotch and tries to forget the fact that he chose to coach football at a basketball school.

Prediction: PSU 45 'Cuse 17

Sept 20 – Temple – TBA – Big Ten Network

Outlook: Former PSU assistant and player, Al Golden, has the Owls on the verge of respectability. Granted they play in the MAC, but they still won 4 games last year which was one more than the previous 3 seasons combined. They also won 3 games in a row for the first time since 1985. The Lions have shutout the Owls to the tune of 47-0 and 31-0 over the last two years. Look for Temple to get on the score board this year, but it won't be enough to stop Penn State from moving to 4-0.

Prediction: PSU 37 Temple 16

Sept 27 – Illinois – 8pm – ABC/ESPN

Outlook: Simply put: Penn State was a better team than Illinois last year. They played in the Rose Bowl and the Lions played in the Alamo Bowl. At Champagne in 2007, Penn State had 5 consecutive possessions begin in Illini territory in the second half and came away with ZERO points thanks to four turnovers. These inexcusable miscues lost the game for PSU. As Illinois comes back to Beaver stadium in 2008 for the Big10 opener, you can bet that the Lions are still smarting from such a sour defeat. Illinois will have a tough time replacing All-American LB, J. Leham and Big10 Offensive Player of the Year, Reshard Mendenhall, but their defensive line may be up to the task. They also have sure-fire first rounder, Vontea Davis, at cornerback. Penn State will look to score on the ground and contain WR Arrilious Benn who burned the Lions for a return TD in 2007.

Prediction: PSU 34 Illinois 28

Oct 4 - @ Purdue – TBA

Outlook: The first true road test of the season. The only year this decade that PSU has a winning record on the road is 2005. That's not good. Not good at all. Curtis Painter returns to lead a Purdue attack that almost upset the Lions in Happy Valley in 2007. However, gone is their best WR, Dorian Bryant. That won't be too much to overcome for the Boilermakers as they'll spread the Lions out and dink and dunk all day. Turnovers will hold the key for a game that could go either way.

Prediction: PSU 24 Purdue 28

Oct 11 - @ Wisconsin – 8pm – ABC/ESPN

Outlook: Now it gets nasty with a primetime game in one of the toughest places to play, Madison, Wisconsin. The Big10 certainly didn't do PSU any favors with the schedule as the Lions play a stretch of the best of the conference in consecutive weeks with 4 of the 5 games on the road. PJ Hill and Travis Beckum will prove too much for the Lions to overcome as they drop their second road game in a row. The contest is fraught with douchebag moves by King Douche, Bret Beliema and ultra-conservative play calling, courtesy of JoePa.

Prediction: PSU 13 Wisconsin 20

Oct 18 – Michigan – 4:30pm – ESPN

Outlook: Michigan comes to town with so many questions, it's ridiculous. DickRod will try to install his high-flying offense with a totally inexperienced QB. The Wolverines lost a load on offense as Jake Long, Chad Henne, Mario Manningham and Mike "Michigan Man" Hart all left for the NFL. They do, however, return one of the best defenses in the league. PSU has enough to finally end the losing streak to Michigan at 9 games, and I believe the homecoming crowd will help them do it emphatically.

Prediction: PSU 34 Michigan 13

Oct 25 - @ Ohio State – 8pm – ABC/ESPN

Outlook: This game isn't even worth writing about. OSU OWNS Penn State in Columbus. We've never won there since joining the Big10. Heck, the Lions have never scored more than 13 points there! OSU is loaded, everywhere. Chalk up road loss #3.

Prediction: PSU 10 OSU 28

Nov 1 – Bye – at least it's not a road loss.

Nov 8 - @ Iowa – TBA

Outlook: PSU hasn't won in Iowa since 1999. Look for that trend to change this year as Iowa is just falling apart under Kirk Ferentz. Their QB stinks. Their defense is terrible. They lost their top three running backs from last year and are leaning towards starting a walk-on, former fullback. They lost their top two wideouts. If PSU loses this game after a bye week, I will eat my mattress.

Prediction: PSU 24 Iowa 9

Nov 15 – Indiana – TBA – Likely Big Ten Network

Outlook: Not much to say here either. After making their first bowl since the early '90s, the Hoosiers return to form as the doormat of the Big10. QB Kellen Lewis is dangerous, but has no one to deliver the ball to. Penn State stays perfect against Indiana.

Prediction: PSU 35 Indiana 13

Nov 22 – Michigan State – TBA – likely ABC/ESPN

Outlook: In what may be billed as Paterno's final regular season game, the Lions will avenge yet another terrible loss from the 2007 campaign. PSU blew a 17 point second half lead to lose to the Spartans in East Lansing. On senior day, look for the Lions to come out smoking. PSU hasn't lost at home to Michigan State since 1965 and I don't expect that to change in 2008. The Spartans bring some serious talent and discipline instilled by second year coach, Mark D'Antoni, but it won't be enough to stop the Lions from sending Paterno out with a win in his Beaver Stadium finale.

Prediction: PSU 27 MSU 23

Regular season record: 9-3

Bowl prediction: I stole this, but I really like it:

Lions play LSU in the Outback Bowl on New Year's day.