I don't make the rules, I just follow them....
Yargggh!! Ahoy me mateys! While I was driving me schooner to work today, I listened to a couple of landlubbers named Opie and Anthony who informed me that today be "International Talk Like A Pirate Day!" Avast!! I did some thinking and decided that I should post an entire blog filled with Pirate Slang! Yarrrgh!!!
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Let's talk about the sorry seadogs we call The Philadelphia Eagles. Great Poseidon's porpoise, does this whole team have scurvy?! I be thinking that Donovan McNabb had his gimpy leg replaced with a peg leg!!! If these lads seek the Treasure of Lombardi, they'll need to turn the rudder over to Kevin Kolb!! Yarggggh!!! Don't these Eagles know it's bad luck to have a woman on board a ship? They'll need to throw that lass McNabb overboard if they're to get their heading back!
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And the wide recievers?? Shiver me timbers!!! Aye, I've got ten men on this poopdeck who can swim faster than these mutts can run!!! Are they carryin cannonballs with them downfield? Get off the line of scrimmage you landlubbers!!
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And don't get me started on Captain Andy Reid. Methinks a mutiny may be in order!! This Jolly Roger isn't fit to run a dingy!! He needs to focus on keeping his two boys away from the rum! And that parrot on his shoulder, Marty Morninwheg needs to get a little creativity in his play calling, because this offense is headed straight for Davy Jones' locker.
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And the defense. Yargh, the defense. Tis a respectable unit, from what I can see out of my unpatched eye, but the sailors are getting banged up in a terrible way. The secondary's lost more men than we did after our latest encounter with the British Navy!
.
Let's talk about the sorry seadogs we call The Philadelphia Eagles. Great Poseidon's porpoise, does this whole team have scurvy?! I be thinking that Donovan McNabb had his gimpy leg replaced with a peg leg!!! If these lads seek the Treasure of Lombardi, they'll need to turn the rudder over to Kevin Kolb!! Yarggggh!!! Don't these Eagles know it's bad luck to have a woman on board a ship? They'll need to throw that lass McNabb overboard if they're to get their heading back!
.
And the wide recievers?? Shiver me timbers!!! Aye, I've got ten men on this poopdeck who can swim faster than these mutts can run!!! Are they carryin cannonballs with them downfield? Get off the line of scrimmage you landlubbers!!
.
And don't get me started on Captain Andy Reid. Methinks a mutiny may be in order!! This Jolly Roger isn't fit to run a dingy!! He needs to focus on keeping his two boys away from the rum! And that parrot on his shoulder, Marty Morninwheg needs to get a little creativity in his play calling, because this offense is headed straight for Davy Jones' locker.
.
And the defense. Yargh, the defense. Tis a respectable unit, from what I can see out of my unpatched eye, but the sailors are getting banged up in a terrible way. The secondary's lost more men than we did after our latest encounter with the British Navy!
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And the special teams. They've already made JR Reed walk the plank. I say they need to go one step further! Make that salty dog Greg Lewis walk the plank with him!! I wouldn't let that fairy on board my boat unless we were all out of men to rape and pillage.
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Aye, so there ya have it, Eagles fans. My take on the team complete with all the pirate's booty you could ever hope for. And if we head into the bye week 0-4, I really am jumping ship.
And the special teams. They've already made JR Reed walk the plank. I say they need to go one step further! Make that salty dog Greg Lewis walk the plank with him!! I wouldn't let that fairy on board my boat unless we were all out of men to rape and pillage.
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Aye, so there ya have it, Eagles fans. My take on the team complete with all the pirate's booty you could ever hope for. And if we head into the bye week 0-4, I really am jumping ship.
3 comments:
Back to baseball season it is!
You listen to Opie and Anthony? Cripes.
Don't you bash O and A!! The Virus is spreading!!
Or not. I just like listening to something other than Rihanna or Bachman Turner Overdrive on my way to work.
And today you got a hilarious pirate talk blog out of it, so thank your lucky stars, mister!
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