The equivalent activity to most of my previous wagers.As has been lightly discussed in this space, I briefly dabbled in a compulsive gambling addiction. While I didn't lose, say, $50 to $60 million, I would bet on a LOT of different things. 6-1 odds on Hillary to become President? Sure, why not! 35-1 on Jeb Bush? Well now you're just handing me a fortune!! Survivor: Borneo's on...I can get 5-2 odds that a chick will win. Hmmm, sounds okay I guess. Derrek Lee to win the homerun crown in 2005 (so close), Ryan Howard in 2006 (got it!). AFC over NFC. Over 130.5 yards for Shaun Alexander. You name it, I probably bet it. Especially NFL.
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I consider myself an enlightened fan, but by no means do I have any inside information that would help me fare any better than your standard post-college douche spouting off fantasy stats at the local watering hole. As such, my gambling career was short lived. Too many parlays, too many teasers, too many bets involving the Eagles. It wasn't fun. I wouldn't lose all the time; I had enough good days to make me think I was always one Sunday away from the payday.
Well, after squaloring my near 300 payout on the Ryan Howard bet, I told myself I was done. What was the point? I had cars to pay off, bills to pay, rum to drink, and oh yeah, the credit card debt.
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Well, I've been clean and sober for about 11 months. Until now. This is what an 8-ball of coke must look like to Lindsay Lohan. This is what a freshly bathed 10 year old must look like to Michael Jackson. This is the most unfathomable NFL line I've seen since I've first started paying attention to such things.
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Well, I've been clean and sober for about 11 months. Until now. This is what an 8-ball of coke must look like to Lindsay Lohan. This is what a freshly bathed 10 year old must look like to Michael Jackson. This is the most unfathomable NFL line I've seen since I've first started paying attention to such things.
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Patriots (-5.5) vs. Cowboys
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Sweet Jumping Jehosophat, are you kidding me?! You might as well cover that sentence in hot fudge and whipped cream. It's unbelievable. Every last nerve ending in my body is telling me to empty the 401K on the Patriots. They can win by a touchdown and still cover?!?!? The Cowboys, in case you haven't watched Sports Center in the last 36 hours, just played on Monday Night, just squeaked by the Bills, and just turned the ball over 6 times to a team that lost its three best defensive players in the offseason (Takeo, Nate Clements, London Fletcher). And now you're telling me that the Patriots are going to win by less than a touchdown? What are you, nuts?!
Well, I'm hanging on by a thread over here. I've been on my online sportsbook, seconds away from clicking on the big red "DEPOSIT" button. I know I'll end up betting this game, and seeing something like "Patriots 28 Cowboys 23 4th 0:00" flash across the bottom of my TV. I can't do it. Stay strong, son.
Well, I'm hanging on by a thread over here. I've been on my online sportsbook, seconds away from clicking on the big red "DEPOSIT" button. I know I'll end up betting this game, and seeing something like "Patriots 28 Cowboys 23 4th 0:00" flash across the bottom of my TV. I can't do it. Stay strong, son.
