If there's such a thing as a bad Pink Floyd album, this is it.
With the new divisional play set-up for 2011 (hooray for co-commissioners!), grabbing a playoff spot this year could be as easy as simply having two horrible teams in your division. Now obviously, we won't have any feel for how good teams are until the draft, but the fact is, we all have a track record as GMs in the league. Some of us are shoo-ins for a playoff spots just by paying our entry fee, others of us haven't made the playoffs since the last Sisqo CD came out. Using the historical performance of our GMs, let's do our first Power Ranking of the season, using overall strength of division as our barometer.
Note: Number of championships are lifetime, Playoff Appearances shown are out of the past four years (except Mr. X who has only played the last two years).
1. SHITBIRDS - Hefty (1 lifetime championship, 4 playoff appearances for the last 4 years) Davis (0, 4 for 4), Mr. X (1, 1 for 2)
If recent history is any indication, look for all three teams to secure a playoff spot. Of course, the jury is still out on our reigning champion. Let's be honest, his first year in the league was abysmal. Which year was the aberration?
As the picture clearly shows, Shelby's not in this division.
2. DICKBAGS - Craig (2, 4 for 4), Melvin (1, 2 for 4), Deewaan (0, 1 for 4)
As much as I love ripping on the guy, Craig is basically a dynasty. Playoffs every year, with multiple titles. I will point out that he's just barely squeaked over a .500 cumulative record over those 4 years though. Deewaan, although terrible at fantasy football, is pretty and his hair smells like fresh-from-the-oven snicker doodles.
I'll be honest, I always figured Mike was much better at this than the numbers bear out. Aaron finally limped into the playoffs last year, ending our long national nightmare. Shelby is a guy who can't spare thirty seconds a week to bang out an e-mail to his buddies, but has had no problem managing a perennial powerhouse.
Google Image was shockingly low on 'Cocksmith' pictures. This guy came up though.
4. COCKSMITHS - Rich (0, 4 for 4), Shawn (0, 2 for 4), Jordan (0, 3 for 4)
The only division without a former champion, which for this exercise, means they go to the back of the line. This is the division you'd most want to end up in if you had a choice in the matter.
2 comments:
This is the year that I personally take down Shelby Fidler. No playoffs for you!
Can't believe Davis has made the playoffs 4 years straight. Maybe there is something to that spreadsheet!
Post a Comment