You Asked For It, You Got It.

What do Coolio and ALSAP!! have in common? They've both got sumpin brand new fo dat azz.

I'll be honest. I thought I was done.

I wanted to hang up my bloggery for good. I wanted to put it on the shelf for another eight months until it was fantasy season again. I was sick of handing out Chumleys, sick of pointing out my friends' faults, sick of covertly hiding internet windows while google-imaging "Dog Takes A Crap." But, as a wiser woman than myself once said, "that love bug jumps up and bites me...AND I'M BACK!!!". I believe her name was Fergie.

Anyway, I do have a strange compulsion to keep blogging, at least so long as there's American Football being played. And as luck would have it, for me, there's even Fantasy American Football being played. How serendipitous. My specialty.

While droning away in my cubicle today, I was asked to fill in for a sick co-worker in a postseason FFL league. Two thoughts instantly raced to mind:
1) My job is encouraging me to play more fantasy football.
2) My job is encouraging me to draft a fantasy football team instead of working.

That was all I needed. Work could ask me to draft a fantasy Hannah Montana team instead of work and I'd rather do it. Even better, fate handed me the first pick. Of course, I took Tom Brady. That was a given. What wasn't a given was the fact that my seven co-workers are apparently the seven worst GMs in the history of fantasy football.

Things got started off with an e-mail from our "commissioner", who spelled the first two picks thusly:
-Tom Bady, QB, NE
-Tony Rome, QB, Dal
Keep in mind that I work in construction, so the ability to spell is not exactly a prerequisite. However, I'm pretty sure that second grade girls are familiar enough with Tom Brady at this point to know he spells his name with an 'R'.

That was only the beginning of the revelry. For whatever reason, these folks have decided that the way to win this league is to take any and every quarterback they can get their grubby little hands on, including first and second round picks such as...
-Philip Rivers
-Jeff Garcia
-Eli Manning
-David Garrard
The league operates on cumulative points for your entire roster throughout the postseason, so picking up players on teams who might make a deep playoff run is kind of helpful. Instead, we've got people literally burning their $40 entrance fee on Jeff Garcia's Buccaneers.

Having mentioned this, I should now point out that fantasy uber-studs such as Marion Barber and Joseph Addai, both of whom could potentially be playing in February, were available with the 16th and 17th selections of the draft. I chose these two. I hope that works out OK.

Now we were in the third and fourth round. I'm sure you wouldn't believe me if I told you that somebody took Willie Parker, right? Well they did. And the best part? This guy just won the $900 jackpot for winning the company's regular season fantasy title. I'm not kidding. The guy who apparently was the best fantasy player in my entire company took a guy with a broken leg in the fourth round.

I sent out an e-mail asking if we got bonus points for broken fibulas. The sad thing? Nobody replied. I'm guessing it's because nobody else was aware his fibula was broken.

The rest of the draft is tomorrow, and there's not too much left for me to pick from, but I'm certain I'll still be able to get Jabar Gaffney in the twelfth round and nobody will even know who that is. It's kind of sad when my co-workers make Adam Davis look like Scott Pioli. Except for me, because I'll gladly take their 300 dollars.

Anyway, welcome back, readers. And welcome back, ALSAP!! I missed you like a junkie misses black tar heroin.