OUT
Reid - "You're going to start whether you like it or not!"
DonoVan - "I don't wanna! I wish you traded me to Chicago!"
IN
"Sure the life jacket helps, but it's really my massive mustache that keeps me afloat."
Reid - "You're going to start whether you like it or not!"
DonoVan - "I don't wanna! I wish you traded me to Chicago!"
IN
"Sure the life jacket helps, but it's really my massive mustache that keeps me afloat."So, Week 12 is in the books. My friends, there is only one playoff spot left. 3 teams are fighting for the honor to be the last team in the top of the bracket and avoid the year long mockery that comes from not making the playoffs. Let's examine.
LOCKED OUT
Oops! I Crapped My Pants
Fecaldelphia Stinkpalmers
LOCKED IN (predicted seed):
San Jose Sharts (#1)
Dallas Diaper Poopy Heads (#2)
Shittsburgh Terrible Bowels (#3)
Colon Blow (#4)
Buffalo Butt Pills (#5)
Chocolate Hot Dogs (#6)
BVD Skidmark Mishap (#7)
You say - Hey, HEY, HEY! Mike's team is only 5-7, tied with Jonesy and only one game ahead of Aaron and Davis. That is true. But he's in and here's why. The worst Mike can finish is 5-8. So at the very least, he'd be tied for the 8th seed. Here is where all the weeks of high scoring are finally going to benefit him. There's no way he'll lose a tiebreaker. Mike has a season total of 1345 points. That's 191 more than Jonesy (1154), 119.5 more than Aaron (1225.5) and 140.4 more than Davis (1204.6). I don't see anyone being able to overtake his point total in just one week, even if he loses.
That leaves ONE playoff spot remaining.
THE CONTENDERS:
Buttsylvania Anal Leakage - 5-7 - 1154 total points. Win and he's in, simple as that. If he loses, he'll head to a tie-breaker against the winner of the DumpTanks/Burrito Rice matchup. That's someplace he can't afford to be has he trails Aaron and Adam by 65.5 and 50.6 points, respectively.
Andy Reid's Old Burrito Rice - 4-8 - 1225.5 total points. Aaron needs a win and a Jonesy loss for a shot. He's in excellent tie-breaker position with his total season points.
Alicia Smith's Dump Tanks - 4-8 - 1204.6 total points. Davis needs a win and also needs Jonesy to lose. His tie-breaker status would likely take out Jonesy as well.
LOCKED OUT
Oops! I Crapped My Pants
Fecaldelphia Stinkpalmers
LOCKED IN (predicted seed):
San Jose Sharts (#1)
Dallas Diaper Poopy Heads (#2)
Shittsburgh Terrible Bowels (#3)
Colon Blow (#4)
Buffalo Butt Pills (#5)
Chocolate Hot Dogs (#6)
BVD Skidmark Mishap (#7)
You say - Hey, HEY, HEY! Mike's team is only 5-7, tied with Jonesy and only one game ahead of Aaron and Davis. That is true. But he's in and here's why. The worst Mike can finish is 5-8. So at the very least, he'd be tied for the 8th seed. Here is where all the weeks of high scoring are finally going to benefit him. There's no way he'll lose a tiebreaker. Mike has a season total of 1345 points. That's 191 more than Jonesy (1154), 119.5 more than Aaron (1225.5) and 140.4 more than Davis (1204.6). I don't see anyone being able to overtake his point total in just one week, even if he loses.
That leaves ONE playoff spot remaining.
THE CONTENDERS:
Buttsylvania Anal Leakage - 5-7 - 1154 total points. Win and he's in, simple as that. If he loses, he'll head to a tie-breaker against the winner of the DumpTanks/Burrito Rice matchup. That's someplace he can't afford to be has he trails Aaron and Adam by 65.5 and 50.6 points, respectively.
Andy Reid's Old Burrito Rice - 4-8 - 1225.5 total points. Aaron needs a win and a Jonesy loss for a shot. He's in excellent tie-breaker position with his total season points.
Alicia Smith's Dump Tanks - 4-8 - 1204.6 total points. Davis needs a win and also needs Jonesy to lose. His tie-breaker status would likely take out Jonesy as well.
11 comments:
Co-editor's Prediction: Buttsylvania squeaks in to the playoffs, then spends Week 14 wiping shartsauce off his beard after a one-and-done appearance.
Overall, a fine first season for Jonesy.
I'd love to square off against Bisbee in the first round...that's a team my boys can get excited to play.
Craig, a lot of your scenario's are impossible - Aaron and Adam are going head-to-head this week!
Super fantasy twist!
Upon further review, it looks like I will be stuck playing the league scoring leader in the first round, unless I bench my team and Shelby outscores me by 80pts.
Doh!
Dang! Good call Rich! Changes made.
Bisbee? That was last year, Beavis! Skidmarks gonna shit on you, Melvin! You hear me?? All the weeks of 4-point losses will come full steam on you, like a diarrhea geyser. A Mt. Vesuvius of dung. Get ready.
The blogs haven't seen a flurry of action like this all season!
Get up, State!
Craig smells like moldy Wegman's sub!
Dump Tanks, FTW!
Umm, lets get going with some crazy playoff blogs...
8=====D
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